Recently there have been a few opportunities to take a road less traveled, to rely on someone else to assist in the forward movement and to live free from drama even though everyone was sure I would need some to get through.
I have decided that of late I am no longer going to be NICE if I don't have to, and I never have to. That I am going to take each opportunity to tell the truth as I see it, because that is the only truth I can see.
I felt as though someone was making excuses, back tracking out of a commitment they had made, and I felt disrespected, disappointed and lied to. I did not pretend what the other person was doing was ok. Their reaction was to be offended. Pretty interesting since I was choosing to not be offended or offensive only honest.
The biggest problem, if you can call it that, with living and authentic life is that you know almost immediately when someone is lying to you. It's as if living without premise, drama and half truths makes one immune to being lied to. It's not really a problem, except those who are busy doing the deflection dance hate to get caught. They feel the smack of someone knowing they have their number when the one catching on calls them on it.
I have also grown to have little patience for those who are busy skirting...but really can't say that I am surprised.
In all this recognition also comes the opportunity to fine tune self behavior as well. I find that I don't really care if people like me, but wish more of them would. I don't really work to win favors, but am not bothered if I am gifted any in the meantime.
It's a really hard spot to be in sometimes, because I know more than I should but feel I have mush more to learn. I miss Tim today! His wisdom was always just what I needed to move forward. To put into perspective all that was swirling around me. I know full well that I am supposed to accept this part of life, but I am entirely sad today because he is not here to help me.
That is all...just writing to release, and accepting as I go. What is your life showing you today? Blog~erapy writing is for you too!!
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