The word crap...

DISCLAIMER...if you are oversensitive when it comes to some words most of us do not use, cannot tolerate my grammar, have no sense of humor when it comes to mis=spelling AND how that can add humor...please, please PULLL=LEEEZEE do not read this blog. However if you choose to read on and see my views and story following this fair warning NOTICE you must leave a comment...oh and there just might be a prize involved for the best, most humorous funny left for me to read!!\\\\




Over the last several years I have been on a personal journey to be the best me. And while some would argue I have miles yet to go, I am here to tell you when I look back, it looks like a billion stars away from where I started. Arguments have been started over the facts, yes I was a drama queen, absolutely I was self centered and somewhat of a story teller, apologetically I was beyond understanding that any of this was of my own doing.

Enter the most giving and forgiving and patient human I have ever known. He came to me when I had learned secrets about a person who had consumed so much of my reality that I barely even recognized me when I looked in a mirror. The secrets were not only hurtful, they were life changing. Although I fought the change for many more years, until I finally realized what I was doing was creating an exit strategy from the reality I had created for myself.

For the most part my memories of my saving grace shaped human are all pleasant, but there are a few moments where he hit me so hard with the truth, I could have sworn there would be a bruise. But in all fairness he was hundreds of miles away when he said them. He smacked me until I woke up and could begin to see a possibility of a life better lived and a truth better served.

In all fairness there were conversations with the object of my history to try and salvage and rebuild. There were forgiveness chats, opportunities to grow together and chances to leave the drama behind. There were even moments when I felt like he would, but then there would be another ugly secret pop out of seemingly nowhere and again I would be working at building the next exit ramp.

I hold no anger for the other half of the story. I sometimes wish things would have ended better, or at least gentler, but I am the better for all of it, so no harm...well minor harm and very little of the scars even show these days.

The reason I even share this bit of my story is it all goes back to the fact that my words, thoughts and beliefs in my former life were policed. I was not always told what to think, who to like or what to pretend like I didn't see, but I had allowed much of that to keep the peace. It's a pretty weird moment when you come to realize that you have given up your hopes, dreams and ability to make decisions because you cared more about the others happiness and keeping the waves to a minimum. The journey out of that storm was quite a ride...but I am here to tell you I made it.

This fact of my history also leads to a short trigger of the me of today. It is the crazy habit of how others work at policing the freedom of speech, their version of appropriate and more. The bulk of this inspiration for today's many words came from facebook. I posted the above photo and in the 25 words you will see one that brought on a comment about it being inappropriate. Really? What is so bad about having the word crap on my facebook wall? It is mine after all. And I encourage everyone to carefully edit their life so that they can feel the freedom to share what they wish. I myself have hidden much of the drama and I do not miss it at all...nor will I EVER. But I am still a bit sensitive over the recent comment "Hey you used the word crap".

Just in case you have any question, I also know all about the many other curse words that are prevalent in today's verbal history. And while I have a pretty good grasp of the English language, and know the correct context for crap, shit and many other of those only sometime appropriate used words in public, I do not ever feel like I should ever give up my freedom to use them. Does it offend my sensibilities when someone uses the word FUCK sixty one times in one retelling? Well yes, but that has more to do with my ingrained English lessons, when my wonderful teacher said repetitive use of the same word in a paragraph or even essay was inappropriate and would lead to a deduction on my grade. So I worked hard at learning many words that mean the same or similar things. I also have gotten pretty good at word blending. Using one or more words to create the just right fit to what I am trying to say.

Basically if you don't like what or how someone says something...don't listen. Step away and find another path. But above all choose to NOT be OFFENDED. I believe that the freedom of speech is not only a right, is a blessing to be coveted, honored and used often and is part of what others in our world would die for. It is in sharing the ideas and colorful words that many a message was passed on from one person to a group. It is within my right to hear everything you say as well as your choice to say it.

I have a pretty good grasp on English, even though some of good grammars finer points sometimes elude me, I can get up and share information and have yet to have tomatoes thrown at me or booed off a stage.

Anytime you choose to let someones choices offend you, you are painting yourself into a corner. You are saying that unless the world behaves in a way which suits me, I am not able to happy, comfortable or content. You are deciding to place your peace in the hands of those who have no business holding it for you, nor who could really give a rip if you have it. Basically pick your battles...do you really want to spend your limited minutes in this life telling others how talk and what to say?

Any of the words that might be mentioned in a heated argument, violent altercation or even just because someone is in the habit of getting attention by shocking the word police in their airspace. As a mom of 5 kids I asked a few teenagers to please watch their language and was yelled at more than once with "get over it...its a damn fucking word".



Even Webster shares the definition of some of these words with little fanfare or drama.

Definition of CRAP
1
a usually vulgar : feces
b usually vulgar : the act of defecating
2
sometimes vulgar : nonsense, rubbish; also : stuff 4b
Origin of CRAP
British dialect crap, craps residue from rendered fat, from Middle English crappe, perhaps from Old French crappe chaff, residue, from Medieval Latin crappa

FUCK
1
usually obscene : copulate
2
usually vulgar : mess 3 —used with with
transitive verb
1
usually obscene : to engage in coitus with —sometimes used interjectionally with an object (as a personal or reflexive pronoun) to express anger, contempt, or disgust
2
usually vulgar : to deal with unfairly or harshly : cheat, screw
See fuck defined for English-language learners »

I started trying to remember why I was offended. I began to take the disgust and anger apart and all I could come up with is that my mom had given me a list of the "bad words". I was told that if I said them in school I would have to go visit the principal. I was told that many words were unacceptable. But if that is so why do we have them in our language? What words would we use in their place? Because every word describes a something. Each part of our language is there to help us describe some action, thing or person. Names are just as important, and rarely ever thought of as bad, but if we are going to keep with the practice of policing, I just want to go on the record to say all men who are called DICK should just go change their name.

I often hear folks talk about the things that drive them crazy, like misused grammar, words that mean something else and clearly used incorrectly and on and on it goes. And while it does get a bit aggravating, I am not sure we will ever fix all those who are guilty of the transgressions. I have actually gotten to the point where sometimes I use the wrong word and don't go back and fix it because it adds to the humor. But then I find most everything entertaining or enlightening, these days. I have even started trying to do away with the words good and bad. I think that in my desire to describe everything as being a good or bad, it has closed me off to the better that can come from any thing that was part of my reality.


I personally do not like racial humor, am kinda sensitive when it comes to fat references in comedy, and think blond jokes although usually based on truth are inappropriate because the subjects rarely get the punch line. But you won't find me correcting those who find the humor in any of it, because no matter how hurtful or wrong I think it is, that is where that person is emotionally. They are projecting to the world not only what they think of others, they are telling you what they think of themselves. They are saying that they believe they are smarter and should get to decide who is a better human or a which words we can and cannot use. They believe that for some reason most of us will never know they have been blessed with the vision that is even higher than the giver of life. They feel as if they hate something because they fear it, then it must be ok to dis the creator and all that he sees as beautiful...ie everyone.

Now to do a little backtracking to what started this blog to begin with...the word crap...used to describe a way some people have chosen to treat others. There are several different ways to work my way around this conversation, but basically it is this...the way some people have decided to treat those they profess to care about and/or love is CRAP. Plain and simple. I also want to go on the record to say that even those who are being treated badly have some responsibility in it. They have chosen to stay where it is seen as acceptable to be treated in such a way. I know that is pretty harsh but I speak from experience. I felt like I was less than crap...and I allowed people easy access to my heart and happiness because I had been told that if you love someone you love them for all that they are. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU STAND FOR MISTREATMENT. Loving someone and being their emotional punching bag are entirely two different things. If someone is hurting you...repeatedly making the same hurtful choices, violating the best rules of a relationship, taking from you and never being present when you are in need, then it is time to step away until they can agree to live within the boundaries of good behavior, or NOT!

I also want to add that when someone is using threatening words, actions or other form of coercion towards another human that is illegal. But the use of corrective words and the anger we sometimes find at the hearing of that expressive language is a waste of time. It is simply better to retrain our brain to not take offense.

All that being said, you will rarely find cursing on my facebook page, hardly in my blogs or even very seldom in my everyday speech. I use self control and a colorful vocabulary because I care that I might offend someone. I understand completely the squirmy feeling it might give those who cannot tolerate their programming and just hear the word. It is never my intent to upset or hurt others, but sometimes there is no other word that describes the subject but crap.