No chasing for me...action, accept the response, moving on~~careful editing can be such a joy.

Working on a day off surely means I love what I do...

Discerning when its time to stop working at something, a relationship, a goal, a choice, surely means I understand why I do all that I do.

Appreciating even the lessons that I don't really like means I get to enjoy all that I do.

Yea....that's my Sunday...back to editing.

Why must we have a leader?

Recently I was given the most amazing opportunity to be a part of a very exclusive training called the Georgetown University Leadership Academy. Not only was I very honored to have been selected to represent my community, I was a bit floored as to all that this would mean for me. In the years since the academy was founded only 2,000 have attended and become alumni. An annual gathering is held each July for those who took the education, processes and self change back to the community to come back together and share what this event has meant in their own life. I was not even a bit disappointed to find out this was not your ordinary little seminar where the very nice instructors give you tips and hints on how to do your job a little better. I don't even for second want to compare this life changing week to anything that small.

This mind warp of instructional information was trans formative. I went thinking I was going to be addressing issues that i have had at work, with others and in some situations in my life. What I came home with was an utterly humbling understanding that the only blocks in my leadership were me. Kinda of a jagged little pill...but I so needed the medicine.

Over the last 17 years I have been on catch up journey. I had gotten sidetracked in my early life and went down a path that was not only self destructive, but it was me who gave my power to someone who never had any part of my heart, well being or dreams even on their radar let alone giving a shit what I wanted. The other person was and still is so very self centered, but that's now what this is about. That time in my life was my choice, I gave my power away and standing on any corner and screaming things were unfair is not only wrong, it's downright stupid.

It's still very hard for me to talk about the systemic change in me, but also a little hard to convey how this will change the way I work towards change in my own job, community and personal life.

If anyone every comes to you and says "Hey you should go to this academy from Georgetown U--" don't even think about it...just add my voice to the should and sign up. It will teach you so much about leadership, but the most important stuff you will learn will be about you. I highly recommend it for anyone working in a service system position.

Why must we have a leader? Because it is only through the vision of one or many that life moves up the ladder of better for all, equal and fair, one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice...not even kidding.

Redundant

If you ask me if you can ask me a question, isn't it true that you in fact have already asked me a question? And what if I say no? Isn't it true that I already answered a question and therefore I lied because I did let you ask me a question? Redundancy is such a turn off--

Gifts are in the understanding

The greatest part of self discovery, acknowledging lessons and loving life is understanding. I no longer have to worry about doubting myself because I understand there are no wrong answers. I understand that what ever has happened is past, and I can decide what I will hang onto, choose to let go of, and discern the stories I will tell of my history. I am no longer a victim of the coulda, woulda, shouldas--I accept the decisions, appreciate the gifts and forgive anything in between. Its not a popular way to live, but that doesn't keep me from wishing it for others. If I feel guilt it is usually temporary. If I make a mistake, its only a part of the story, because the end result always contains elements of good. I see so many who are telling the story as it was, but I choose to tell the story as it is. There is no real shame unless we decide to feel it. There is no reason to ever dwell on any emotion unless it is joy. Feelings are not facts, they are present to guide us back to finding our happy, we never never never are deserving of a bad feeling, and it is not our just destination. We don't grow by feeling bad, shameful or guilty. Those are feelings we were told we should feel, because we are not perfect. The opposite is true. Those feelings happen because we are out of alignment with our true self. Our life path is as smooth or as bumpy as our decisions set it up to be. We are in pain, self loathing or turmoil because we do not accept that we have chosen where we ended up. I used to say I didn't choose all the drama, but allowing someone else to make decisions for me was still my decision!! Personal responsibility for where my life is means I also get to choose where it goes. I have days where I feel all of the old emotions, but I also recognize the triggers and am working on hiding those buttons from the ones who show up to push them. Forgiving myself and letting go of the ugly stories means that I am present and available to start over when ever someone who has been angry, resentful or grudge filled shows up to star over. The other amazing part of this awareness is knowing that the people I need to reach my happy will always show up to help. But if I am focusing on feeling bad, deciding that I deserve misery, or choosing to accept ickiness as what has to happen, those people will show up too! Thank you Tim--my life class with you changed my life--and even though some will say,"there is no way you can be that happy" the truth is--I am. I don't have it all, but believe as I work towards my true self I will...and find more happy as I go along, because can choose what shows up and I choose the good stuff.