Everything happens for a reason, I believe this with all my heart. There are so many times when something that was going on in my life that set me back, brought on feelings of sadness, caused me to say WTH, but if I take each one of those situations and I look back at them...there were signs, there were moments when I could have made a better decision, stood up for what was right, and looked for a path of least resistance. I did not have to make the choices that I did...BUT I DID~!!!!
I drove my way to every situation that I didnt like, each opportunity that I loved, and into each relationship for good or bad. No one made me, no one created the good, bad or ugly stuff except me. Once I owned that my life was where I had directed it to go, I could start to see ways to change what I didnt like.
I love honesty, even when it stings. I think being honest with someone is the purest form of respect. Now I dont use honesty like a weapon to hurt people but I have often been known to say to someone who was asking me a question like..."do you like the color I dyed my hair?"====are you sure you want me to answer that?
I dont want to offend anyone, but when you die your hair, oh i dont know green...I might not think its the best color for you and I will probably tell you so. But just know its only my opinion, not a judgement or a criiticism...but also remember you asked.
I have also been known to make someone mad when their bad decision(also bad in my opinion only) has offended someone else or myself. I do not feel like its my place to change someone else, direct them to behave better or even to give advice unless asked, but aim some bullshit at someone I care about and you are probably gonna hear about it.
But you gotta know, your life is not a puppet show, there is not some horror film director calling the shots or putting bad actors into your scenes. You are the director. Your beliefs shape how you see situations (the ol glass half full/half empty analogy) that are in your present, your decisions will help to shape your future, your gratitiude will bring you more to be grateful for.
No one can fix your life...NO ONE. Because they will only be fixing it based on their story. And who knows where their story has been written from. It could have been a life of priveldge, or one of abuse and control. Their decisions could all be based on fear left over from someone who caused wrecks and havocs in their previous life...but again those things didnt just happen to them either. See where this is going?
It is our life...empahsis on OUR, MINE, YOURS===we are not being punished with bad things that are happening, we have made some decision to start down a road and until we turn off or at least fix all the pot holes out in front with better decisions today, we are still gonna end up in Hellville or Happy town...its our decisions that direct our lives!!!
And the quickest way to see how something is going to end...is to look at my intention. Do I intend to take away from others or add to them? Do I look for what you can do for me or search for some way I can help? Do I respect your choices, or do I work on changing your mind because I cant get my stuff straight? Am I accepting the responsibility of my life and my choices or am I seeking someone to blame? My intention is always to be honest, first do no harm, and choose what is right for me, not give up the responsibility so there will be someone to blame later.
We only get so many days to spend in this life...SPEND!!!! Thats right, we choose the best deals in our life account too! Will this be the best use of this day? Or will it be a waste? All these questions were things I asked of myself when I was recovering from the misdirection in the previous life. But I set about trying to understand howI had ended up where I did, and once I understood that I had chose that road, or given the navigation over to someone else...I could also start to see the roadmap home, back to me and back to a life that I was meant to live.
I miss some of those who now live behind a boundary that was put in place until I could be storng enough to not be bent by their habit of making decisions for me. I will never forget the first time I told someone no...who had been a controlling and destructive influence in my life. The feeling of strength I felt cannot be matched by any other feeling and the look of shock on their face was priceless. Because I took my life back and I took away a past time for them...but thats how change works and how intention moves us forward.
There are people in this world who choose to hate me...and Im ok with that, I represent a lifestyle that many cannot fathom. They see my ability to speak and share where I came from as annoying or whatever label they want to put on it. I do not stand in judgement of them, nor do I care if they like me. I love the direction my life is going...even if some days it feels like were moving just a little too slow...(sorry did I mention Im still working on being a tad bit impatient?)
There is a little part of our anatomy that serves to help us see the signs...it is our gut! When you feel that tugging in your middle that feels off, makes your neck hairs tingle or even causes you to see red, those are signs. Feelings are not part of our life so we can express how we feel, they are part of the traffic control system meant to help us in our direction. Think of them as the gps of our life trip. They might be telling you to slow down, watch for your exit in 200 ft, or even occassional re-setting because you missed a turn.
At any one of those warning signs you can do a u-ey....and turn your life around. You may still have to travel through some of the crap you put in your road, but its only a matter of time until you have gotten past the speed bumps, pot holes and hazards until you see your future on the horizon---down a wonderful smooth paved road of your life, the one you are driving and deciding where you are going to end up...not anyone else.
I love that we can rebuild our road, buy a new map or just go 4 wheelin if that is the direction we want to take. There are no rules, no right or wrong...but I only ask this---understand that you are the driver, and watch out for those signs, speed limit, caution and do not enter...they are there to direct us to the best possilble path, if only we will listen and read them. Hey do you need glasses when you drive?
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