When you choose to live life with honor and respect for others, removing unecessary drama and holding close to those who live by the same principles, it is absolutely amazing what life becomes. If only you could see that you deserve, as much as anyone, to be loved, treated with care and treasured for the amazing person you are...let no one take that away by your choice. ILMF-ILML-IJS---facebook status 1/25/2011
So I write alot!!! And sometimes the things that end up in a status or even on paper or occassionally on a note to someone I feel the need to share something with, but it just seems I write alot.
I am often told that I should write a book, or for magazines, but I can't for the life of me figure out how to put what I rattle on about into something that would be a commercial product. I do know that the school of hard knocks that I graduated from has taught me much about how life can be best handled when it aint all sunshine and lollipops. It has also been a part of my education to come to understand how all the choices were mine...that lead me to that dang old college of life.
We are the pilots of our life ship, the masters of our fate, the directors of our life story. We only shortchange ourselves when we set about the see how it is someone elses fault. Now that does not mean that when someone is present in our life we should go on letting them use us for their whipping post or the dumpground for any of their misquided emotional trash. But it does mean however we bear some responsibility for where we end up...or at least I did.
Its like the people who live next to a smelly dumpground, cant really smell the trash like those who might get brave enough to visit. But the stench was there just the same. We have to understand all that the stink that ends up in our lives is because we allowed it to be there, or in some cases created it for the sake of having something to complain about.
When I had finally come to the understanding that the person I was hanging all my hopes for a better tomorrow on was never going to be one that lived in honor or in truth, it became so apparent that to honor myself and my beliefs would mean the end of our story. As I venture farther and farther from that disaster, I can only see how much drama was unecessary, how much time was wasted with a life that held no principles to the test and who thought honesty was something that was always negotiable. I had never heard the saying before, but when someone shared with me that he "Would rather climb a tree to tell a lie, than stand on the ground and tell the truth" it was as if someone had hit me upside the head.
The hardest thing I had to do was to learn how to respect someone's or everyone's right to live the way they see fit. But at the same time that meant I had the same choice as well. I have never really shared all of that story. Some parts of it are just to hard for some ears that might have to hear it. And while the anger of what I saw as injustices gets to me now and again, I am not sure that I will ever be able to tell the whole story. But you know in all fairness I dont really think I need to. At one time I was so angry that the stories poured out with the tiniest of triggers. I just find now after coming so far from that history, I rarely ever even feel the urge to bring any of it up. I owned my responsiblity in it and thats all I needed to heal to move on. Does it make it any less wrong? No, but again its not up to me to decide for someone else how they should live.
As I remember back on the moment of clarity and the choice to move back to a life that not only honored others as well as myself, but was also guided by those never failing principles that should (in my opinion) guide us all. Its been awhile since I studied the principles of an honor filled life, but if I remember right there are 12--kinda like the deadly sins....hey I gotta remember to go back and see if there is a connection. Although I dont think its as important where those guides come from as what they mean when I am using them in my life, it never hurts to lean on the wisdom of the ages....they had some pretty rough stories too.
I think also that most of the life of me before, was based on should have's and ought to's. Everyone should have the same moral compass as I do, but that may or may not be true. Everyone ought to have be treated they way they treat others...that old law of attraction thing again....that which is likened to itself is drawn.
I think sometimes for me I got caught in a trap, one of those gotta chew my leg off to get away before its too late types. But when I got away, I found myself. I can live the rest of my life only seeing drama on tv or in the movies, because it serves no real purpose. Those who use it as their vehicle to move through this life are so not getting it...in my opinion. And please know I am not talking about those things that happen in our lives that change us forever. I am talking about those situations where we have ourselves all twisted up on an outcome or behavior of another person. So wrapped up that the only option that we can live with is for the drama to play out just as we have written it. No thanks--no improvs or last minute script changes for me...you just pony right back up here and say what I expect you to...and we will be fine! The real trick or I guess I should say talent in living a successful life, is to not be emotionally tied to the outcomes. I know many who might read this, probably just did and ol; what the hell?? But listen--closely--it has been my experience when I am living out in front of the situation, and deciding or even belieiving that things have to happen this way or that for me to be happy, I am just waiting for the next emotional wreck. Because people can not see our SCRIPTS!!! And as much as we might think, if they would just change or do things our way, we would finally be happy---not only does it rarely happen, it is not really what makes us happy.
Happiness is like a breeze or even a falling star---it blows in or speeds by only to be gone almost as fast as it came. But if we can be happy in anticipation of the next little whisp of air, find gratitiude for those sparkles of falling stars that grace our night skies, then we are not waiting on something ot make us feel happy. We are living happy and feeling the emotional hapiness when the next surprise or gift arrives.
When we choose to give away our selves to those who do not deserve the gift, nor are able to honor and undestand what a gift it is, we are giving up our birthright to a joyous life. We are not born into this world to be unhappy, nor are we destined to be abused, used or damaged by people who are more lost than ourselves. We teach others how to treat us, by being caught up on the off chance they might actually one day be able to read our script and play along in our drama. I put away my script several years ago. I have taken the difficult but necessary steps to remove those who refuse to live with principles in my life. I did'nt loose anything when most of them were shown the door. Because the old door closing, window opening analogy is more than true. Once we put aside those old habits of trying to keep others where we think they should be, and find a way to honor their choices as well as making our own, life becomes this journey through moments. Emotions come to show me what I am feeling, but I choose how to label them, and honor the others in my life.
The next blog I write is probably gonna be on the understanding that I have about love. I often watch others use the word love as if it was to purchase anothers loyalty. Don't you know how much I love you? As that should have anything to do with anything. The beginnings of love are about the physical--the attraction, the flutters and the happiness. But the real love--the love that stories are written about, only have their beginnings in that love. The real love---the love of the ages, that has nothing to do with the emotional love. That love is the choice, the action, the art of caring more about how the other person feels, than I could ever care about me. But know this, those who are good at this art of loving another, only came about the success of it by first loving themselves enough to wait for a person who was worthy of the decision and the committment.
In our world where it is so easy to feel lonliness, its easy to tie ourselves to the outcome of emotional love...to fall(dont you like how that expression used with any other adverb would not be as great) in love. I can tell all my friends " I fell in love" or " I fell in the mud" and the two are actually exactly the same. They are both an ewey gooey mess that often has to be cleaned up. But the act of loving, the art of the deciding to love another with honor and principles, does not have us tied to the outcome. I can love the person I choose and never see them another day in my life, if their love does not honor me in return.
I keep alot of the things I write, and sometimes when I go back and read them I think..."I wrote that?" WOW---thats pretty cool!
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