Sometimes its hard to explain to people what I do for my job...its a fancy title, and sounds so very important. But when you get down to it, I really just am a creator, negotiator, planner and friend. My job allows me to help people who not only love me in return, but they appreciate everything I do. Some might say they have been dealt a bad hand. Some might say that its just not fair. But all I can say is that my folks and their families have taught me more about life than any college, more about compassion than any religion and more about me than I could learn in five lifetimes.
All any of us ever want when we are expecting is a healthy baby----oh and a girl(unless you always wanted a boy). But what if your plans got derailed? What if your trip got mixed up and you ended up somewhere else?
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
I love it when I see folks pass around the posting about kids with disabilities, I always try to thank someone when I see it. Its like special education week has lasted all year. But if I can share anything with those who might read this, please understand that while their challenges seem so difficult to you and me, the thing we must understand is that they are the most amazing teachers. Those who cannot speak teach us how to hear with senses other than our ears. Those who have physical challenges teach us to walk a little slower and watch out for obstacles. They teach us unconditional love. They teach us about ourselves. They show us that life is full of joy no matter what mountains we must climb. They have taught me that no matter how flawed I may be, I too am a child of God, and they show me understanding for all my hangups.
All of us have days where we might wish we were someone else, lived somewhere else, worked somewhere else...but you know what? On any given day when things arent going so great, all I have to do is walk out to the workshop and all 120 of my friends are happy to see me. They are asking me about help finding them a job in the community, or when is the next prom, or can they volunteer at the boo!run again this year. They want to know if I have had lunch yet, how my kids and grandkids are doing and other little details about my life. They want to be my friends, and they care about how my day is going.
My all important job title is Director of Outreach and Development, but my real job is friend to the gang at COI! I love my job and I love my life.
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