It's just a little gumption...

I used to worry that someone might not like me, then I decided what other people think of me is none of my business. I used to think I would die if you stopped loving me, then I realized only people who love themselves truely know how to love others. I used to fear that someday I would be alone, and then I discovered how wonderful alone time can be. Now that I have learned these important lessons, I am ready for the next adventures in life. Friends that appreciate, love and care for me because they can. People who work as hard at making me better as they do the world. Unselfish hearts that love without concern for the return. Life can be made better not only for the things that are added to it, but often for the things that are taken away. Facebook post 12/30/11

The number of important people in my life is way up there in the triple digits. I cannot even tell you how many moments that have come and gone where I might not have been able to keep it all together had it not been for some amazing hearts.

I feel blessed everyday when I get a call, message or visit from these people. They are the most wonderful expressions of humaness and they all share my reality. I am in awe of how great their love is for me and for the world...it is the thing that songs are written about, stories retold of and movies inspired by.

It's hard to tell about each one---but the first person to ever tell me to disregard the opinion of self that came from others, probably saved my sanity. I had spent so much of my young life seeking approval, that I didnt even know when I had an original thought. She was Dorothy, but she will always be Mimi to me. She told me things often to stop my pity parties because they served no useful purpose. I thought I was supposed to feel every emotion, and learning that I could choose the ones to hang onto was also part of her lessons. She listened to me as I would cry and tell her of this injustice or that hardship, and then she would spout some wisdom like--"you know Pam the world doesn't revolve around you" or " You have 5 minutes on that pity pot and then it is time to get up and give some else a turn" and my favorite--"its really none of your business what other people think of you". Yeah truer words were never spoken.

I have also been told that I love too hard---that I committ my heart to people who often don't deserve it. And I believe that in the past that might have been true, but I have learned to look for the love that flows both ways. I also know that my love for others was not wasted. Even if they chose to turn away and not love me back...it doesn't take away from my belief that everyone deserves to have someone in this world that says I love you "unconditionally". I don't mind being that person for many in my life. Even when that love leaves me wounded, I can say that I gave as much as there was to give. The funny thing is that all of those who have stabbed me in the back, turned away and left me to find better or took advantage of my heart taught me more than I could have ever asked for...because they taught me to love without requirements. They also taught me that I can love the most difficult people and still set them far enough out of my circle that they can feel my love, but I don't have to feel their pain.

I have hung onto relationships because of that fear or maybe because of the love, but a friendship or relationship can grow cold and lonely when there is only one person standing up for the hearts. I know that for me I am the sum total of all my experiences, and that some of those have been horrible. I also know that as I retell my story that I can work on just remembering the good. Knowing that there was enough bad is all I need to do, I don't have to relive it unless it has relevance for someone else. I also have learned to let go...in a healthy and inspired way. I can love you whether you love me or not....and want you to know that when those thoughts of me cross your mind it is because I am sending you light and love.

I have watched as my new found strength and self confidence has angered those who were used to the nice me. And while I still believe myself to be nice, I have learned that being nice to me means more than any other good stuff I do in this world. If I don't practice self-care all the relationships in the world will not make up for the damage some misguided souls can do in ones life. I don't really think they are bad people...they just don't mind doing bad things. I have also come to understand that with each decision to limit the access of this life to those who would soil it, means that I open doors and pathways for good to find its way in. And to say that good people have made their way to my life is an understatement. I have to work more these days understanding how I could be worthy of so much good. The gifts of friendship that they share, the love that is given freely and in abundance, the moments where the part that I play in their life is celebrated, feels like nothing I can even remember in my previous life.

I think when someone tells the truth, they add a piece to the armour that protects us from the meaness in the world. Their words resonate with our soul as beautifully as if they were a song. They rebuild those pieces of us that have been damaged by those who don't know truth and don't understand its power and gifts. Likewise I think that when someone lies, they bring a virus to our hearts. A group of spiritual germs that eat away at us because we can feel the illness of the untruth. And the infection spreads and creates tears and physical pain when the lie is revealed. It is as if it were an erupting sore, gross and needing to be lanced and cleansed. When we take back those stolen truths and begin to heal there will still be the scars of those who created the wounds of lies. But we will only have to remember them when we need to.

I have written often of my Tim...there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him. Our relationship was one of lessons, laughter and love. He guided me through parts of this life that I was not sure I would survive. I have known hurt that was so big it felt as if it would crush me. I always knew he was there when I needed to hear that cajun twang and feel real love. He never asked anything of me, but gave always to my growing up. His wisdom was big...and I ate it up ever chance I had. When he left this world, he left a really big hole that I have had trouble filling.

I cannot even understand all the gifts that have come through family. The five kids who love me unconditionally, the grands that Gimmee' me to happiness. The extended family that supported the tragic and rollercoaster life that was my youth. The storm was big, but they always found a way to make it better. I can remember one time that I had called and talked to my grandmother and although when she was asking how we were and I just kept saying ok, she could hear that there was trouble and a few days later a sweet letter came in the mail with support, words of encouragement and love. I really miss my mamaw too.

The holidays have always been a very tough time for me...until a few years ago when the lesson at hand was to take the commercial gifting obsession out of the celebration. It was tough year, I had loaned my Christmas money and it had not found its way back....hasn't made its way back yet. In turn I was gifted money from friends....and one day I will be able to gift it back. But the holiday came off without a hitch. It was beyond lovely and to this day is one of my most favorite Thanksgiving, Christmas seasons yet. This year was right up there also...actually each year since the lesson has been amazing.

I guess all these lessons are pretty much what everyone gets to learn. My life has not really been all that special...but I have enjoyed living it just the same. I would not take a minute of it back. Not those times when someones love was so big I could feel it as if it were tangible and in the room. Each of those moments when I realized that someone had grown to hate me for my mistakes or just who I am, and I began to understand that there would be another person I would have to add to my light and love list. To those moments when some would take so much away from me that I felt as if there were holes in my soul. I would still have chose to live...each and every moment.

The most favorite moments are when the gumption takes over and I am very honest with others. Even if it is in an indirect way. I can let you know that you crossed a line that has my boundary alarm going off. I can still allow you to behave however you choose, it is not for me to correct, change or control. But sometimes just a word in the right direction can let someone who is open to knowing the truth to get a glimpse of how their harshness, opinions or carelessness might have hurt others. Maybe they will get the hint, and maybe they will delete me from their facebook. Maybe they will learn forgiveness or maybe they will be locked forever in their rightness. I would reather be kind that right, honest than too kind, and forgiving instead of angry. But those are my choices...to make, to treasure, to share. I have learned lots of lessons in this life...and am thankful for all the additions and understanding of the subtractions.

If I were asked today, still I would have chosen to LIVE, every second, crying each tear, bearing each child, hurting each pain--skipping not a second

As I share this the tears are falling down my face. Each of us has a reason we are here. Each of us has a cross to bear. Each of us has a light to share. It is our choice whether we will be angry and ask Why me? or be glad for the lessons and ask Why not me? Even with every hardship, pain, love, hurt, joy and celebration...I would have chosen to LIVE. I would have said YES let me walk among those who have graced my LIFE~~I will live each moment I have, give all that I am to what is before me, and love every one, even those who don't know how to love me back. Thank you for this LIFE...each and every second of it!

I share this video as she shares with those she knows, and the world that her life has turned...but if asked she would still say "I choose life, and all that means".

So love it when I find someone who can tell it like it is and then some.

We have the no cussing rule at work, that doesn't mean I don't know or use cuss words, it just means that as we all serve as examples for those we are trying to encourage and educate, that being a good example means being able to speak professionally while in the work setting. It's not a bad idea, it actually means we are not only being respectful of our work environment, but we are working towards being the best example that we can. But on the other hand sometimes there are only a few words that will fit some given situations. I know that it has taken me years and many episodes of embarrasment as a toddler mimicked my word choice while driving. Only to have he/she repeat me when someone cut us off in the grocery store. I also have tried to replace the ever appropriate well $#!*, with a shux, dang or darn when the little ones are in ear shot and my butter fingers kicked in.

But that is not to say that I don't really, really, really appreciate those who can tell it LIKE IT IS! With all the correct usage of the explitives, and the many explamation and other points thrown in the mix.

But my latest blog find is none-other than my latest Blog hero, even the title while controversial to some, is really quiet appropriate when you think about it. She is merely stating that aggression she would like to take at some well justified moment. Does not mean that she has or ever will act on it...but you know we still have freedom of speech, and to be honest havent we all had those moments when the thought crossed our mind that the act would fit the crime?

If you have a chance drop by her blog and hit a few of the most recent...my current favorite happens to be Jen and she is the author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat and my favorite post of hers to day is http://peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.blogspot.com/2011/12/over-achieving-elf-on-shelf-mommies.html

And while her blog is sprinkled with some colorful and sometimes harsh words, they tell all too well how many of us feel inadequate when we meet the overachievers, which are a part of the Elf on the Shelf story. I have spent a little time over the last couple of days reading some of her other blogs and I like her, I really really like her. I like how she thinks, enjoy how she takes her thoughts and entertains and I love how she doesnt mince words when she is busy sharing her thoughts. I am sure there have been or will be those who might not enjoy it as much as I do, but I see all things as an option to learn. I learn from everyone, everything, everyday....and I am learning and enjoying her blog as I do most things that entertain me. Who knows I might even learn a few new words, or ways to punch someone without ever laying a hand on their throat.

All my rowdy friends....well really my wonderful friends...LOL~~Part 2 of Yeah I was talking about you...SO WHAT!!

Tamara- Amazing, talented, thoughtful--AMAZING(sorry used that adjective twice...but- well- its TRUE)

I actually had the opportunity to meet Tamara about 6 years ago, and while she had a unforgettable impact on my life, she still has trouble remembering the first blossom of our friendship. But don't hold that against her, I don't! I was still working on understanding who I was and defining what talents and abilities I might bring to the world to not only celebrate me, but would help me to do the most good. Her natural abitlity to make people feel at ease, and think of her as a friend is the stuff that legends are made of. She is creative beyond belief and when she and a few others of our friends are together, there is nothing that I think I cannot accomplish. She is a spark to my gasoline!!

Coralee- beautiful inside and out, wonderful sense of humor, thinks outside all the boxes, and connects others to facilitate their success.

I am always a little surprised when Coralee reminds me that she is really a shy person, because I don't think I could ever see her this way. She was an instant friend and I am blessed each time I have the opportunity to be with her. She is a consumate hostess, a sprite of a red-head that flitters around and sprinkles wonder dust on everyone she connects. I hear people often say that she is their best friend. I actually think she is one of my best friends...but you know she is so wonderful I am trying to learn to share. Her strength and ability to support ALL of those she cares about will some day be the subject of a movie, or a book or both. I am not even kidding. Just a few days ago I was a part of something amazing, that I cannot share here...and again as I watched her sprinkle the fairy dust over all that were present, I became even more enamored of this amazing person who has come into my life.

Tiffany-surprising, talented, beautiful, generous, quirky, my Tiffie!

Ok, sometimes I become a bit jealous when someone else is getting all her time. I have often heard that we care about people according to how they make us feel about ourselves when we are with them. I feel like a Lady-Knight when I am around her. She has a way of assisting me in believing my abilities, some that are still hidden. She is a fierce force to be reckoned with if you violate any of the better known rules of just behavior. When you first meet her you will notice her beauty, but when you get to know her you will see nothing but beauty. Her sharing of life encompasses all that are around her...and her humor, well I'm just not going to share much of that...that part belongs to those who are close enough to experience it first hand. Saying she is my friend not only makes me feel better about myself, it makes me want to be a better friend so that I know that I will always derserve to be a part of her life.

Jane- sharing, blessings, kindnesses, momma bear!

Jane has had an interesting and challenging life, and all that she does often surpises even the busy bees like me. She is a genie at pulling things together...and may have just missed her calling as an event planner. She is the kindest of spirits, but knows how to fight when she needs to. Our friendship is based mostly on our joint work/life...she is a volunteer-parent for COI, and well thats my calling. But I never have to wonder if she will come through. I know that anytime she has been a part of any event or planning she has done her part to make it special. Her kindness towards those we serve is amazing to watch. She cares, deeply about everyone of our clients, and especially for those who cannot always speak for themselves. Her little surprises that she often leaves on my desk, are rarely ever acknowledged, because most of the time she gifts anonymoously, but I know or most of the time believe she left them...or at least it makes me smile to believe she is always thinking of something that she feels will make me smile.

Sue-the yen to my yang, the organizer to my clutter-bug, the friend of each week.

I am amazed each time I have the opportunity to work along side Miss Sue. Her ability to live not only in the organized chaos of events and fundriasers, but to do it with a smile is priceless. She can take any situation and make it better. She holds nothing back and is always one of the last to go home. Her gifts are many and she shares them openly. Even when there are others present that seriously need a swift kick in the reset button, her feathers are never ruffled or even visibly shaken. She allows others to behave however they choose, holding fast to her knowing that anything can be better with kindness and planning. She is uber organized, and often is my hero when things get a little cluttered mid planning stage. She is one of those people who I can tell anything to, confide even those thoughts that I should keep to myslef and I know...believe and trust it is a conversation that will be between us. I hope one day that I can be more organized like her...but until then I am blessed by her amazing talents and I love her.

Bettye strong, honest, caring, FRIEND

I know that Bettye and I became friends because of our desire to promote our entities. But we remain friends because of trust, honor and all things good. I know that no matter what life throws my way, Bettye and I will probably see as the same challenge and attack it like we do any obstacle that stands in front of us. We are both pragmatic, understanding that somethings are just never going to be different, but that doesnt mean we can't find another way to drive around it. She believes strongly that everything should be just and fair, and I think she is a little disappointed as I am when we see that this is not always the case.

Brenda -NEW FRIEND, encourager, honest, real...special

There are times in life when you know someone, and see them and you do the regular niceties and feel that you are "friends" and then one day things change, you have lunch or a moment of sharing, or witness something together and you know that you will never see this person the same again. The real Brenda is the one you get every time you see her. I cannot even tell you how many times I have stood by and watched her lift someone up...its so natural for her. Even when you know that life has kicked her around a bit, you most likely will never see that if someone else needs her. She is a natural born encourager...and time and time again when I have watched her practice this skill, I have looked on as she made a difference in someones life...not just in that moment. She gives others a spark of self belief that is as wonderful as any gift. I am proud to call her one of my new friends.

Nicci -BESTEST friend.

I have always felt such a heavy responsibllity when it came to the rearing of my children. Feeling that it was all on me to make sure that they had a strong foundation of understanding, education and compassion to move to their adult life. I often remember wishing I could have been a little more relaxed, but as I see each of them enjoying, embracing and succeeding at reaching goals in their lives, I know I did the best that I could. I am most grateful also that my oldest has become my best friend. We talk all the time, do things toghether when we can and in general I just love hainging out with her. It never matters if I am having a bad day, a rough week or a great moment, she is always there to be a part of the celebration or the getting over it. As she faces the challenges of life with many of the skills I hoped to share with my kids, and does it with grace and power, I am gifted a bit of self awareness and appreciation of my motherhood life. I feel sense of pride that while I most surely didn't do it perfect, she turned out pretty great in spite of me...they all did. But we have grown so close that I can hardly believe at times that she is anything other than my best friend.

Tonya-inspiring, kind, energetic

She has taken things that have happened in her life and instead of allowing them to bring her down, she has found a way to support others. Her story is remarkable and the gifts that have come to others through her inspiration will be life changing. She makes me want to step out and do more, to find a way to be a blessing to others, because she thinks nothing of working on things that will bless others lives. It just comes natural to her. She is becoming famous quickly in the circles of those who have amazing missions, receiving news coverage and becoming part of an advertising campaign. She is also a wonderful friend to many of my friends...so I love her

Sometimes there seems to be a theme in what I hear, or am asked....

Am I really that busy?



I guess I see my life as normal, I did raise five kids after all. There was always some activity, mischief or chore to be done. There was always some conversation, discipline or belief to work out. It was an amazing time in my life. I am surprised now how I don't really feel as worried about the outcome of all those years of struggle, mistakes and hamburger helper. My kids have turned out ok, and what issues they might or might not have cleared away from the attempted parental practice that I gave, well they will just have to figure out like I did.



Parents only get the understanding of what it means to be a parent after the work is done. We only understand fully what we could have done better after its too late to apply the knowledge. But the amazing thing about humans and our ability to be resilient is this...no matter the journey we still find out way to ourselves, everytime. Some do it in amazing and beautiful out loud and public living. Others in a small and intimate understanding that only a few are aware of. Some get it in their 30's, 40's or later, others don't pick it up unitl they are checking out.



Doesn't really matter, its the outcome of all the living...and it is good.



I hear often, I can't believe all you do...and to be honest, I don't believe it either. I don't really sit down and say I am going to make myself busy. I don't have an agenda other than a few larger than life goals to help, support and make a difference. I don't want to collect achievements or another other proof of work that might or might not have gotten done. I just want to take full advantage of every opportunity in this life.



Sometimes the only opportunity I take on is the one to do nothing. I have moments where I check out and no one hears from me...not even facebook. I go to my room, or my favorite spots and just sit. I don't try to decide, understand or plan anything. I just listen to the world, nature, my breathing.



But again and again I hear them ask, "how do you do it"? the answer is always the same, first I say I am not sure what you are talking about...and then with clarification, I say I don't know either.



I know where the comments come from, but it's just my ability to be a bit wordy. I share, anything and everthing that I feel led to. I keep reminding myself and anyone who wants to hear that I have a mission...it is my desire to reach those who have it on their heart to help.



I love all the fun that my friends invite me to be a part of and the laughs alone give me energy to do more. I have been blessed with the most amazing people in my life...and I know how lucky I am. So if there is ever a moment when I can be around thier love and concern for me and our world...well I just find a way to be there.



I honestly think the biggest reason is that I don't live in fear of the sharing. I don't stress much over saying the wrong thing, becuase I speak my truth. I speak it for me, and for anyone who might want to hear it. I am an open book, and want to write a few. I hope that some of the things that I have come through might be a path for someone who is struggling with the same fights I have survived. I have found the understanding that we are all meant to be here, to find happiness and to value ourselves and the journey. I love that the messages that I get mean something to me, and hope that sharing it might mean something to others. I have survived the fear of being hated, the realization that not eveyone knows how to love and the glorious awakening of my truest truth.



I am responsible for it all. I get out of this life what i put into it. I am a piece of God's handiwork and my life has value. I can get the lessons or keep repeating them. I can run as hard as I can through each day or drift on auto pilot. I understand that my happiness is a choice. I accept that whatever is going right or wrong is because I believe it to be so.



I am that busy, but not in the way most think. The other day I thought I had a pretty short day, I had PLANNED on getting a few things done at the office and heading home on my regular short Monday schedule. But opportunities to share about my agency, my life and my heart presented themselves through a new friend....and off I go. I read a quote one time that life is what happens when you are making other plans. I totally agree. If I understand that my plans should be written in pencil and to keep my eraser handy, I am going to follow the map of opportunities that shows up, not just what the to do list reminds me of.



I recently was texting with a friend and the comment was made about living a more private life. And I wondered why? What is it about their life that they felt lead to hide away from the world that is here to give them all the same opportunities that I have. The ability to find friends that add joy and laughter to my heart. The chance to find and complete meaningful work. I guess I don't understand, but I am trying not to judge.



I can tell you this, on those days when I have written a blog to therapy my way through a problem, conflict or confession of humaness, I am grateful for all of the words that I find to share. I love taking the issues and putting them on paper...(electronically speaking) so that I don't have to carry it around any more. I love being able to say it is done and meaning it. I may never know who reads what I write, because many seem to want to keep that fact private as well...but to be honest I don't really write for anyone but me.



I share because I lived a life that was built to keep me quiet. To pretend like everything was perfect when nothing could have been farther from the truth. I give my time to things that are important to me becasue I want to be a part of it, and it matters. Nothing more is needed. I share what makes me smile in hopes someone else can grin about it too. I love how real my heart feels, and how authentic my life has become. I am not perfect, I am as busy as my opportunities will ask me to be and I am as happy as I decide I want to be.



I have no advice for anyone else. I appreciate that you admire my busy~ness. I love my life. I will not turn away from any opportunity that brings the yes from my heart. I will not regret anything I did or did not do. I will not stress that the laundry sits at home and on my chore list because another thing that resonated with my desires presented itself. I will never say I can't say yes to that because my dishes are still in the sink and waiting on me. I see there are a few challenges for me to work on personally. I have a few left over from the other life battles yet to blog~erapy away. But I am ok with taking the opportunities to get that done as they arrive.



I am feeling much anticipation for changes that are coming and opportunities that are already in the works. I am about to get a little busier...and am excited for the chance to try to get it all done.

Words to build by!

Do not be discouraged at your humaness, and do not fear change or lessons learned. There will always be those who tear down, build anyway. There will always be those who take, give more anyway. Know that you are meant to be here, learn from imperfect moments and enjoy this life--focus on what you want to see and soon you will. Facebook post September 18th

All to often we let our mistakes define us more than our successes. We forget that it took hundreds of attempts before the first commercially produced light bulbs were available. We barely remember that safety on automobiles was an afterthought. Then of course many might have only seen a phone that hangs on a wall in a museum.



Those ideas of today that seem to come out every day are a culmination of the human spirit and creative juices allowed to run wonderfully rampant. I don't hear "it won't work" much anymore, not that it isn't said--I just don't hear it.



We as a progressive human expression of creative life have embraced change at a whole new level. Builders and designers and inventors are finding ways to make our lives better, more connected and more fun each and every day.



But they are also working towards embracing those moments of humaness to add a gentleness to our society. We, and I mean each of WE are not perfect. We cannot plan the errors out of our days, but we can learn from them. We cannot find a perfect employee, because there is no such animal. We cannot locate the patner without flaws, because we are all still very human.



But what we can do is to teach our children to embrace the human mistakes as opportunities to express their creative problem solving skills. And when the problem is solved, we can also help them embrace the art of forgiveness. Learning first to forgive themselves and then passing that gift off to others will change their reality more than any financial windfall. Learning how to be a graceful human will not only give their spirit a lesson in life...it will assure that their life expressions will be a gift to others all through out their lifetime.



Now when I say forgiveness of others most human moments, I do not mean to give abusers or users free reign in their reality. I mean being able to acknowledge that most mistakes and missteps are merely that. But when someones trampling of your daily life is habitual, it is time to allow that relationship to have a closing, that is also ushered on with forgiveness.



Forgiveness is a gift, most of all to the one who gives it. Because in releasing those angered feelings and moments of contempt for wrongs real or implied, allows the victim to become a victor. It shows that you are willing to move past the past and heal yourself, regardless of the pain. It also assures that you will always be moving forward. Harboring anger for big or even the smallest of mistakes is like taking poisin expecting it to make the person you are angry with sick. Most people who go about their lives creating harm, or dumping their mistakes on others are living such a selfish life that the impact to their feelings is non-existant no matter how angry you may be.



So as you are busy creating your life, allow a building of knowledge, of things, or of projects. Embrace the building of relationships, businesses, and lives. But also take a lesson in building bridges across those moments that seperate us. Those moments of "wish I had done better, but let me fix it now" and "wish you no harm because it was your turn to be human". We are building the world we will all live in....physically, emotionally and forgivingly!!

Thre are moments in life...

where you feel safe enough to just be, when you know the reason for struggles, and you feel an utter sense of grace....they need a check in button for that place!!! Its a great spot--been there a few times, most recently as now!! (facebook post 8-30-2011)

Two years ago I met a friend. She tells me often how great a friend I am to her. She is the type of friend that I can see her every day, or once a month and the emotion is the same. We have fun, laugh, act crazy and just generally have a freaking amazing time.



The first night we met was one of those moments of grace. I knew somehow our lives were going to be focusing on this first nigt. I knew that some part of the future was hinged around the conversation at that table when it seemed like no one else was in the room.



I have the utmost respect for her talents, her story, her life. I have the kowledge that no matter where I go or what happens in my life, she will be there...just a phone call away. She is a true friend. I can say anything, everything or nothing and the feeling is the same.



I do not fear that one day I will wake up and she will be setting about to undo me, that she will be working on taking something away. Every time she is in my physical presence it is an act of making my life better.

Her story which I won't tell much of here, is much like many of ours. There is joy, harship, pain and grief. There are children and jobs and family members driving her crazy all the while validating her existence. There are fights, wins and losses. And there are the moments in life....where she has been able to just be.



Two years ago when she and I met, I set myself on a mission to help her make her goal a reality. I have struggled, begged, pleaded and forced moments trying to make it happen. I have given her my ideas and suggestions and reached out to those I thought would be able to help. I have prayed and tried to find a WAY to make it work.

But only moments...no great success...just ticks on the clock and the return to just doing the next thing.



As the days have passed by and other people have come into my life, I began to see parts of the puzzle coming together, and I have often thought I will know. I will see a moment of clarity when all the pieces will be sitting at the table together and we as a great cohesive force will move the dream into the next realm of possibility. It just so happens that the table was round. And that 8 pieces of the puzzle that night were there. I soon began to understand that the reason things had not come together is because I didn't have all the pieces or even the right ones. I had to let some go, send some away and go and get new ones.And even though some of those original pieces are missing from time to time, the puzzle can still be whole.



The most amazing part of this story is this....we are all connected. We as a wonderful mass of human experience are all living moments when we can choose to participate, or be upset because it is someone elses story. We will have the priveledge to witness the great creative forces moving mountains to make the puzzle whole. There will be a recognition that all the visualizing and all the hopes and all the wrong moments have brought you forward to the very second where you are sitting and your puzzle is complete.



And even though you know there is more to you story, a part b, or c or even all the way to z of your puzzle, none of that really matters because you get clarity. You understand that while you may not now nor ever truely know what happened to make all those pieces come together and fit so perfectly, it doesnt give you any pause at all. You are standing in the grace that goes beyond all understanding.