The question is..."How can you really be that happy?"

so they ask--"How can you really be that happy?"



I answer" because I choose to be"



--they ask --"But dont you have any problems?"



I answer --"of course, but I always find an answer."



--they ask---"Why doesnt that stuff make you sad?"---



I answer"because it is my choice, and no matter whether I choose to be happy or sad---life still is what it is---so why not choose happy?"



They answer---"I don't know how to do that."



I share --"It's a choice, no matter what happens to me today, I will see the good in it, just as it is promised that all things are to the good. I choose to believe and live my life in hope, faith and happiness. I love my life---it so beats the alternative."



Anyone who has known me for any length of time, can attest to the fact that I have not always lived by this philosophy. It would most likely to have been said even just a few short years ago that I was really very unhappy. But in one of the greatest examples of why I live this way, in 2005 I had what could be considered a very rough patch from August 22nd, until November 21st.



On the first day of my rough patch, it was decided that I was no longer needed in a job that I loved, actually it had been decided before then, but that was the day that I was officially told. There were many reasons I am sure that my employment was ended, but the fact of the matter was I was unemployed. Now I could head off into a whole tangent about how it was wrong, unfair, that I had been useated unjustly and blah, blah, blah---but never the less I was sacked---after what was one of the most productive weeks ever since being employed in that position. My responsibility in this new reality was that I had not done what was needed to prevent it. I would not see until later it was one of the greatest bad things that had ever happened to me.




The next event that would shake and begin to mold my future would the the Katrina tragedy. Through this horrible event, I was given a wonderful opportunity to redeem myself and regain my footing. I was helping people every day who had lost everything, who were out of their comfort zone by 100's of miles, and who were still finding a way to smile and be happy. All I had lost was a job...kind of puts it all in persepective doesnt it? It also reminded me that there was another incident where it seemed as though I had lost everything, when our home burned to the ground in 1996---I survived that and I began to see that it was just the life lessons that were coming and passing---not the end of the world.



As these changes in my life became just the next thing to deal with, my husband of 20+ years decided that he no longer wanted to be married---well that was certainly something that should have made me sad---but again I looked at the recent events, called on those friends who had promised to help and support me emotionally as I traveled through these "all to the good-horrible occurances" and it was only a few days until I was settled, and smiling once again. I have my memories of the good things that came out of that relationship, my five kids and I had life. It aint over until the fat lady sings...and since I can't sing--Im thinking Im gonna be here for awhile.



With all these changes happening, and all the peace that kept finding me I began to see that the life that I had thought was to be my role for the rest of my time here, was not really one that had been too happy. That many of those situations that had stolen my smile, over and over and over again were not really of my choices, but because of my choosing to allow others to make decisions for me. I began to see that each persons life is challenged by something---but they had somehow found a way through their storms and I began to believe I would also.



This new way of looking at things was not instantaneous, it was a philosophy that had to be practiced--sometimes all I could do was practice being not as miserable. But since a belief is just a thought that you keep thinking, I began to believe that when Abraham Lincoln said"You are as happy as you make up your mind to be" he might have known what he was talking about.



So the next thing that would come along was a job offer,and it was a job that didnt even exist--here would be an opportunity to use my drive, my knowledge, and my passion to help people and also a little freedom to see what could be possible. I relied on those friends who were knowledgable, I went to trainings, I read books and studied things on the internet. I was blessed enough to be hired by an agency whose beliefs and principles were in line with my own, I was home. This employment has felt like the best job that I have ever had, not necessarily monetarily, but in all the other areas of my life--it has been a good fit. I like to think too that I have added value and been a big part of the new direction and exciting things that are happening for us. It hardly feels like five years has gone by---but the next five promise to bring amazing growth and opportunities for our little agency that is all about creating opportunities for those we serve.



I love my life---no matter what challenge I face, I know that there are resources and friends co-workers family who will lend a hand to meet those challenges. I no longer feel bound by the need to have people like me or completely understand me---I dont go out of my way to make them not like me---but either way its their choice. I understand that my life was not meant to make others happy, but a chance for me to experience all that was meant for me to share in and also a chance for me to give all that I am to what I choose to do.



I love all of my life---even when those things happen I would rather not have to deal with-I know that I am better for each moment and that the joy that I feel is a habit now, I choose more often than not to be happy---and it literally only takes that decision to make it real.



So the answer to the question is that each of us can really be that happy---we just have to decide to be, or not. There is no written law that says you have to be either or, but the choice is always yours. I often see others who let the tragdies define who they are, and thats not wrong. But I also know that those habits of seeing those life occurances as somehow being what you deserve, or the drama that somehow you are a victim of are just habits. We have learned from those who taught us that--that is life. I just don't agree--life is a choice---and I choose to live and BEE HAPPY--Bobby McFarrin so had it right when he sang his song---take a listen because you too can choose happy.