Finding the joy in life surely means you are successful.

The achievement of anything that you desire must be considered success, whether it is a trophy or money or relationships or things. But if you will let your standard of success be your achievement of joy—everything else will fall easily into place. For in the finding of joy, you are finding vibrational alignment with the resources of the Universe 6-27-11~~~Abraham-Hicks™


Often it has been difficult to feel successful, there always seems to be some aspect of life not quiet up to par. Some little thing still nagging at the I want button. I seldom feel like a failure, but sometimes when I am alone and the thoughts of all that I have yet to acomplish start flooding over me, I have a hard time feeling as if I have it figured out.

Now that is not to say I am discouraged or even for a moment feel that these little disturbances are real, or even a description of reality. They are the left over thoughts that have bound themselves at a cellular level and take many active sessions to completely remove.

I won't say we all have those people in our lives that will tell us often, "that will never work", "you are just playing with a pipe dream", "your not pretty enough to win him" and on and on. But those people have at one time or another been given a moment or more of my time and attention. I heard their negative words and I clung to their beliefs for a time...but no more. I still hear the echos of thier pain, but I try really hard to never listen. Some will never learn that by holding back others they tie theymselves to the negative. Some will never grasp that only when we all are happy for anyone winning that we all will add to our win column. And many will always be trying to force success by taking what belongs to others....credit, jobs, belongings, etc. There is more than enough creative energy in this universe for all of us to succeed, but some will always try to force thier beliefs on others instead.

It might even be a good time to slow down and listen to what we are saying to others. If we were listening to someone else and all we heard were their negative words, "it aint gonna work, or I dont have anything to be happy about"---would we want to listen to us? I am not saying that bad stuff is not real, but when you land in it and stay there you give your creative evergy to that which you are upset about experiencing. It's ok to vent and be in the moment, but don't you want to move away from it? If so then make the change in the thought that is about what is real...to what you want it to be. Find something to recall that you are grateful for. Remember a time when things were great and you felt real success. Teach yourself to always find a way to end whatever conversation, thought time, or even self dialog on a happy note. When you turn this direction it works just like a light switch to turn off the negative and gives you a chance to turn your energy to what you want.

Call someone who has a more positive outlook and ask them to tell you how they stay so "flippin positive", and don't just do the lip service. TRY to make your next step an experiment in living in the positive!! Start a journal, each time you feel yourself feeling the bad vibes, go and write it down. But before you are done end it with something good.

Then let it go....after a few days of trying this go back and see if the bad stuff is still there. But remember bad thoughts are really just a habit. We teach ourselves how to think and feel just like we teach ourselves to do anything else and practice makes better...and sometimes perfect.

A few days ago I was visiting with a friend and she was sharing that she has so many people that she sees everyday that never seem to helpful, generous or happy. They seem to drain the life right out of her. So it's time for a little Polyanna therapy---try to end every conversation, thought, or activity on a good note. Just try...or don't, it'sup to you. But when you find joy, even if it is borrowed, a little old, or just pretend you set about your magnet to draw more joy to you.

Find a way to be happy for any good news, even if you wish it were yours. When someone wins we are all better for it, because it means there is positive energy in our lives...and we are seeing the result of that. Everything bad that happens feels like it is the end of us or maybe even the world. But the creative spirit that gave us breath and free will did all this to give us the opportunities to experience our creative power. Success is not in any one thing, job, possession or person. Success is in feeling the joy, and teaching ourselves to find the joy no matter how well it may be hidden or how diffictult it is to see with our crap colored glasses.

I love those who have come into my life to teach me these little lessons of being joy filled and successful. They have made my life, because before I was just existing in the misery of everything bad that had ever happened, recounting and retelling and reliving all that stuff over and over and over again. Making sure to convince every one that I had it worse..WHY? That only set forth the energy to make sure it was!!! I want the success in life, and I WORK to find my joy at every moment that I am able.

It's all in the writing.

Whether you find your way in this life with traditional methods of help or if you are able to move past grief and loss with the help of amazing friends and one seriously wordy online venting diary, it makes little difference. Therapy works to move you past the past---and I am miles past it most days.


Its always there to remind me, I am almost 50. I don't have all the traditional things in place that should be getting me settled and ready for my retirement. I am alone...well not really but I am single. As I was reading some posts on facebook today, it was evident that I was having a moment of envy of those who seem to have gotten all they desired out of their first half of life. A good marriage, a good job-career,financial stability and roots that secure them to a great life.

I unfortunatley made some not so great choices with my decisions and also allowed someone else to direct some of the major paths that were all misguided, wrong turns and dead ends. There seems to be a movement or actually two on facebook that follows the opposite ends of a spectrum. One belief is that we should be able to use this media for whatever dissemination of information that we desire, no matter if it is completely accurate or even nearly fair. Others feel that we should only use if for the good stuff and leave the other hidden away for no one to see.

I really do not believe that censorship works, but I do understand both of these trains of thought. But before either is condenmed or appreciated, let me say this... We each have a right to our freedom of speech, but just the same you have the right to delete.

I do not agree that all that I believe or every thought that jumps into my head belongs on the social media broadcast system. But unfortunately not all those who are on my friends list and probably some that are also on yours have the same filtering system in place. They see the value of this media to be in the venting option. They should be able to share whatever bad news they choose. I agree in the right to share, but I don't always feel up to reading. I know too that while it is totally up to you to read or not to read....it does not upset me either way.

My blog has become my venting, but it is gauged by the distance of therapy others are so gracioulsy sharing with me as I move from the pain of a past path. A wrong way that was riddled with bad decisions has lead me to a life that not only honors my beliefs in fairness and honesty, but it also allows me to say I made mistakes. I trusted the wrong person, and it took me decades to become strong enough to step away.

Does that mean that I should rip him a new one everytime I become angry? No not really...but not for the reason you might think. The reason that I share only from my perspective is because that is all that I own. I allowed all that I experienced. I have no one to blame. I attracted and held to someone who never had my best interests at heart, does not make him right but certainly does not make me wrong either.

I have been very blessed over the last several years to have the greatest of teachers arrive as this student was ready to move away from a life not only half lived, but less than half successful. I don't shy away from the facts, and only occassionaly have envy for those who made better decisions. I have a deep faith that as I continue to move towards a life that is about understanding how it really works, good attracts more good....love attracts more love...well it goes on, but you get the gist right? I work on improving me, which in turn works to attract those who are more like me, and like the me I long to be.

I can remember a time when it took all I had to try to be happy, but now it comes pretty easy. Even when others seem to seek me to feel sorry or have sympathy for thier misfortune. I understand that it is their choice and paths they chose that lead them towards the life that they are living. I know too that at any moment they can choose to go a different way. To seek the high road. Now that does not always mean that their path with suddenly turn yellow and become the bricks that lead up to the Emerald City, but it does mean that they will begin to build a momentum that moves them toward more smiles and understanding. Every time we make a decision that is based in ego, revenge or any of those feelings that lead to harming others we set about making the fate our own as well. Understanding how we arrive at the destination also known as crapville will assure that we do not have to return. Blaming others for how we ended up where we are, makes it almost certain we will be living there for a long while. That does not mean that those who would take advantage of us, push us towards doing only what they want or guilting us into making the bad decisions are totally innocent. But when we get totally honest and real with ourselves, we have to find our resposnibiilty in the decisions also. Even giving someone else control does not remove your part in the disaster. It just means you chose to let someone else choose for you....it was still your choice.

I do not look for censorship, nor do I practice sympathy. I decide what I will read and share empathy when it is needed. I am here to help those who seek to find a better road to travel, and to work towards making up for my mistakes. I will never hold back when moments of venting that are about my experience...even if that means it makes someone mad, but I do not seek to harm nor create drama towards anyone, least of all those who created so much of it in my path in my past. I am happy, even when I am not smiling, because I get it. I know that my blog~erapy is helping me....and thats all I need to know.

Feelings are not facts...

Feelings are not facts, they are the warning signs of thoughts when we feel bad and they are the celebrations when we are headed in the right direction. Watch what your feelings are telling you and act accordingly. Search for the better feeling thoughts...find the positive even if it is only that I am not as sad as I once was. It is the only sure way to improve your life .


Its the age old story...I don't feel well, so that must mean something is wrong. I am having an off day so life must be bad. Someone gave me a weird vibe, so they must think I am weird.

It's totally not true and most of the time the feelings are left overs from times when I did not understand that it is always my choice. There is nothing wrong with feeling however you are feeling. The problem lies in when we decide that the feeling has no corrective action. We get stuck. We stay feeling as if we have no other way to feel.

But there is a very simple solution. You can find a better feeling thought. You can work on remembering those feelings that are good. The day when your friends suprised you with a birthday lunch. The afternoon of Everything is Pink day, where every minute was about showing appreciation for me. The moments when my kids remember moms day, mothers day or call just because. Those afternoons where watching the grands makes the good mom feelings come and stay as long as forever.

Bad feelings are just markers of moments that are less than desirable. They are not permanent, punishment or even primary. They are fleeting times that I can hurry along by looking for the better feeling thought. Whether it be a memory of some moment when someone honored my freindship and love for them, or something that I am planning for the future. My feelings can improve by stepping out of my misery to try and improve someone elses situation, by volunteering, donating or surprising them with a moment that honeors the gift they are in my life.

I love that I have learned the are of gratitude for every minute, and every feeling. Because it hurries along the better stuff and those moments can never come soon enough for me. I love too that I have learned how to share the lessons that not only improve my life, but make each and every feeling something I can get through or treasure....depending on which one it is.

Social Networking...originally posted Nov. 2009

There have been a few posts lately that have a negative inference that some of the folks on facebook and probably on other sites are falling into categories of posters that for lack of a better term...are aggravating. I hope that this doesnt always describe me, but I began to think about one of the most formal posts recently which actually sited another article written for another site...and they break the not so flattering traits into 12 descriptions. I must admit when I read them I could see where I could actually at one point or another find myself at least in some part and parcel in several of these generalizations.

I do not want ever to prevent someone from their right to speak, or for sharing just an observation or opinion. I actually love so much the ability to hear so many different views...and then thinking if my position should change on the new information could be one of the reasons I stay awake at night.

But I guess with all the hoopla about what "those" posters might be doing that aggravates some, it got me to thinking....and basically I came up with "so what?"

The control is in each of our hands to have these posts on our page or not...although it might not be comfortable to put a boundary in place---ie delete someone who is causing you aggravation...it is up to you to protect your space whether it be in irl or online...either is the same. I am sure that you probably dont regularly travel to any sites online that you find offensive and probably as well if you have a site that you would'nt care for your children to visit...chances are you have it blocked all together.

So instead of me deciding to be offended or aggravated by those who post pattern is a little different than myself so what...I actually feel, believe and even on some occassions preach...""the fact that we are all different makes this life what it is...if you were all just like me...I seriously doubt we would ever have coffee at 4:30 am...cause I know Im not getting up to make it...I probably have only been asleep for a few hours by then and I know all those like me wouldnt care if there was coffee anyway."

The strangest thing of all is the thought that anyone ever has enough friends...even if they just be online...and if someone is creeping you out then block their access to your site. I dont really mind those folks who dont really know me...IRL, but they post on my site, send donations into our non profit...or even who just tell me now and then to have a nice day.

I like so much that I can see the things in your life that you find important...and also most important those who seem to have a hard time communicating in person...might just take a shot at sharing how tough their life is today, and maybe even though I dont know them as well as some others, maybe I can be one that posts something that helps...even if it is only to say..ME TOO!

My life is crazy busy...(not complaining) I love that I have all the opportunities that I have, for work--helping those we serve, for Gimmee' time--I am entirely in love with those two grands, for new friends--cause who can really ever have enough friends, and for connections---whether it be irl or just online. Each time I read someones post and they share an insight, a gratitude or even just that they are tired...they remind me what this life is all about. It's not about how many toys you collect, or how many breaths you take...its those moments that take your breath(borrowed that from someones post) and its about those lives you touch...and those who make a mark on your heart.

I love my online friends...even if all I ever see of you is your pictures...I LOVE YOU...not in a wierd creepy way, but in a healthy, gosh I hope I can be there for you if you ever need a friend way. I hope too that my posts, notes and comments dont bother you...but in some way they make your online life a little better, funnier or even less aggravating.

thanks...for all you share...and all you do!

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Serendipity~~my definition!!!

Sometimes when life is moving fast and furious, I make decisions that are all based on the theory of "What the Heck, lets give it a shot"? And while some would have me believe that everything needs to have an indepth, well thought out and written plan to be successful, I have a few anecdotes and evidence that might suggest the opposite is true.

Now I am not saying that we should live with out a plan, or an objective to get us to our desitnation. My reason for stating this little different twist is to remind myself that no matter what the plan says, sometimes you just go where the spirit moves you.

This week has been loaded with Serendipity, loosley defined in Webster's as a fortunate accident. And while I have never in my life disagreed with the all knowing interpretive descriptions of words that are forever described in the amazing, all knowing dictionary, I seem to be using this word to describe those moments in life that just don't really come with a label. They are not part of the planning, but are definitely part of the direction. They are not something that we can really say is going to happen, but when I am standing in that moment, nothing would be able to get that smile off my face.

So as I moved from moment to moment in the week after the week after the busiest week of my year, there were many thoughts that had rambled through my brain. I would really like to see "G" so I can ask her about something....and within seconds of thinking this thought, I walked to my car after finishing up with an outing and as I looked out in front of me, she was walking towards me. Now keep in mind neither of us were in a town where we live, work or see each other often. We werent 1000's of miles away from home, but at that moment when I realized just seconds before my brain had uttered the thought of wanting to see her and then there she is---we might as well have been on another planet... hopefully you can get a glimpse of this seredipity. Not only was she walking towards me, her car and mine were side by side and we were there, together, opening our doors, just inches away from each other. We talked, set a time when I could come by to see her....and boom ~~serendipty.

Another little item of interest was to visit with a person who represents a certain business, I had drove all the way to Ft. Worth on a Saturday afternoon recently in hopes I would run into her not had much luck setting up and appt either. It wouldn't have been anyway cause I was trying to plan an accidental, hey fancy meeting you here...see the irony? So just a few days ago, I thought I might try calling again and making it a formal meeting, had the thought process of gee I would really like to see a person from this company and then "BAM" she is standing 2 feet away from me at another totally random moment when I was doing something else. We had a very nice visit, exchanged cards and now "serendiptious moments later" and she and I have a meeting set up.

There have been many moments like this through my life, but for many years I kind of have just dismissed them as coincidence. But now I am beginning to see, understand and believe that I am able to create in this life answers for every question, assistance for every task and light for every darkness.

There was the time when I had been going to a town many miles from my home, the person I was traveling with and I were having a talk about a favorite person in my life. I had not see her in years, but each thought of her has always put a smile on my face. With in a minute we are at an intersection....hours and miles from where either of us lives, and as we cross one of a billion street intersections on this planet, she walks across the street in front of the truck. Not like hey way over there that looks like somebody I know close, seriously serendiptiously 4 1/2 feet in front of my windshied close. I jumped out of the truck, hugged her neck, and we have laughed about that moment every time we have seen each other since.


One of my most favorite moments was many years ago, it was in the heat of a Texas summer, we had been to do our weekly grocery shopping, had our kids in the car and we stopped to let one of the little ones to go to the rest room and to put a little water in our car because it was overheating. Being the young and living on a shoestring kids with kids that we were, neither of us really could have ever predicted what happened next. As I took the little one to the restroom, and the hood was lifted to put some water in the car, the fan belt fell off the car. Not was loose and needed to be replaced, IT FELL OFF! So its hot, we have just spent the last of our paychecks getting groceries to get us through to the next pay day and now we are stranded 20 minutes from home on a Saturday afternoon, with little ones, cold groceries---well anyway. To say that I might have been a little panicked would have been a bit of an understatement. I am not sure if I cried, but my memory now as I revisit this serediptious moment in my life, I remember feeling tears. Within a few moments an older gentleman approaches and asks if we need help, of course we say well yeah we do. He goes to the car looks at the now in pieces laying on the ground fan belt and says I think I have an extra one those in my trunk. I laughed through my tears and said no you don't, and he chuckled and said yeah I think I do. Now I must tell you that not only did we not have similar cars...they werent even made by the same company. But yet this seredipitous angel goes to his car, opens his trunk and pulls out a belt that not only is the same length as the one now in pieces, but has the same number in little white letters on the side. Ok...over the years as I have told this story, the memory of that day and what he looked like, the color and type of car he drove--right down to the funny little white shoes and completely white outfit he was wearing...have never dimmed in my memory.

I could tell countless stories but today was the culmination of many serendipitous moments from one of the most serediptious weeks I have ever had. I won't tell you all of them, but just a few weeks ago I mentioned to someone how I would like to meet someone local, who has similar interests as me, who is an author who could help and direct me on a project that I have been working on for about a year. Guess who I met this morning and who I have a meeting with tomorrow? Yep---the moments just go on and on....a friends new endeavor, and all the ideas to help, guess who I run into? As I am sitting in a meeting this afternoon looking around the room at some of the most amazing people I have ever had the serendipity to meet and thinking about what I admire about many of them, someone walks up and says what they admire in me. I have so many dreams and hopes for the people we serve, and I have met at least three who have offered to help me work towards those goals this week. A wonderful lady that I have known and respected for years and I had a little bit of a disagreement lately. Although I was determined to not let harsh words and actions change how I feel about her, today we both ended up in a wonderful moment and it was as if we had never disagreed about anything. We were instantly back into a mutual caring and respectful relationship and feeling gratitude and pride for a wonderful event and amazing surprise for her that I was blessed to be able to be a witness to.

Over the last couple of years, my life has been filled with seredipty moments and gifted me serendipituos friendships. I am more and more convinced that these people who are amazing, loving, supportive and encouraging are destined to be a part of the this serendiptous life. They are here because as I get closer and closer to my purpose, my mission, and my passion, each person who has agreed to be a part of my success is showing up to gift to me energy and love that will spur me on my way. I am serendipityiously blessed and blissfully happy to be in this moment and in love with this life. My FaoFoc, my Ladies of the Round table, my BFF's, my fellow Lions, my work family, my kids, my grands, and you--you are all my seredipitious blessings, and I can hardly even think any of it has been an accident...its all too perfect to be anything less than a miracle.

Actually as I sit here and work on sharing this bit of blog~erapy I am remembering more and more moments in my recent life history and from my long term memory and my smile is just getting bigger and bigger. How could I ever doubt again the divine hand that is on this life? Mine, yours, ours? Never again....and even some of those moments that did not start with a smile or even a serendiptious moment but more often with pain and misunderstood feelings, they too were about getting to the answers that were meant for me to find. All of them, All the time...All to the good!

There are so many words and sayings that we use and re-use to try and explain these little minor miracles in life, but I think we might just be doing the miraculous part of this journey a disservice by doing so. I completely understand and acknowledge that not every question will be answered by one of these amazing moments, but then I can be happy in anticipation of the answer none the less. I know too that sometimes not getting an answer is really still a resolution to the question. Every prayer is answered, just sometimes the answer is no. Not because we didn't deserve a yes, but a yes was not what would have lead us to the right answer.

So now I am on a mission, to redefine and redo the way we use the word serendipty. I don't really think of these amazing moments as accidents, I think of them as divine meetings at the coincidental intersections of life. They are directed by our hearts desire and fired by our faith in the belief that we are meant to be happy, have the life that we are destined to live and when we are living on purpose can never really miss any way we shoot. I love my serendipity--don't you?

I have learned that if you will look at people for whats in their heart and not in their hands, whats the truth of their words and not the volume or quantity, for the balance of their actions, not the stories of could haves...you will find the real people. The ones who will hold you up when you can't stand, the ones that will love you when you feel unloveable, and who will teach you about who you ought to be or could one day be. Those are my kind of folks...and I know many of them!


At one point in my life, I relied completely on my feelings to decide on people who would get my attention. I listened to their words and forgave their misteps and hurtful actions. I thought if they were saying they cared that meant they did.



I have since come to realize that I was unable to "SEE" the real person because I was looking at the outside and using only my eyes. Truely being able to SEE those who are in my life has become more of a heart thing. I can see how they treat me, and watch how they treat others. I SEE how they care for those in their family and how they are careful with themselves.



I have learned to use my heart and my intuition. I have learned when someone behaves with meaness and harsh words that it is not because of me, it is because of who they are. They are liviing their anger instead of using it to guide future decisions. It was this way for me. Now its a momentary distraction. I take note of the reaction you pulled from me and then I understand that I must limit your access to my heart and feelings because you do not know how to respect it. I also send you away with every wish for light and love in your world...each and every time I see you.



Once I realized that I am the one who is responsible for those who get my permission to take up my moments, I accept the responsiblity and the blame. I do not allow missteps without noting that I think someone is off base. I changed me and my reactions and now those who show up in my life are people who feel and behave in a way that is an example of the me I long to be. They are generous to a fault. When they take on a task and a responsibility, you have not need to worry about the outcome...it shall be done.



These amazing people who are now a part of my reality hold me up on the days that I find it hard to walk. They cheer me on when I am headed towards a new goal. They send me text messages to remind me to take care of me. They invite me to be a part of the life celebrations big and small. And when I am in need they arrive with gifts that not only meet those needs, they give with no expectaions beyond the joy to give.



I keep saying it and I keep on meaning it. I love my life and I am so grateful that I have learned to SEE the real in people...the real good ones and the ones who are still struggling. I love SEEing things as they keep getting better and appreciating each real person who helps me be better and do better...I love SEEing you!

God wants you to know....

From the God wants you to know app...



that every moment is an opportunity for you to be happy. You know how sometimes it seems that life is just throwing you one curved ball after another? Well, guess what, - you have a great way to respond! - you can use every opportunity, every single one, to be happy. Don't just take a shower - feel into and receive pleasure from the water on your skin. Don't just walk on the street - enjoy the fragrances of the trees and the flowers on your way. Don't just drive your car - sing karaoke to your favorite radio station.



This lesson took a long time for me to get...understanding that happiness is a choice. But since I got it, it has made all the difference. We are so amazingly blessed even when things are not as we hope, we still can find many many moments through out our day to recognize a blessing and be grateful.



A nice message on facebook, a great song to sing along with on the radio, someone lets me merge into traffic, a gift that is not only completely perfect for me or just what I was needing(clipboard), words of encouragement, appreciation and love.



Moments of healing come often and are also among those happy moments, things come almost as fast as I share that I have a want or a need, people showing up that are great examples of how one should live their life. Help when a struggle shows up, or a lesson learned and that leads me to something better(all to the good).



I am happy...and wish the same for you.