I have learned that if you will look at people for whats in their heart and not in their hands, whats the truth of their words and not the volume or quantity, for the balance of their actions, not the stories of could haves...you will find the real people. The ones who will hold you up when you can't stand, the ones that will love you when you feel unloveable, and who will teach you about who you ought to be or could one day be. Those are my kind of folks...and I know many of them!
At one point in my life, I relied completely on my feelings to decide on people who would get my attention. I listened to their words and forgave their misteps and hurtful actions. I thought if they were saying they cared that meant they did.
I have since come to realize that I was unable to "SEE" the real person because I was looking at the outside and using only my eyes. Truely being able to SEE those who are in my life has become more of a heart thing. I can see how they treat me, and watch how they treat others. I SEE how they care for those in their family and how they are careful with themselves.
I have learned to use my heart and my intuition. I have learned when someone behaves with meaness and harsh words that it is not because of me, it is because of who they are. They are liviing their anger instead of using it to guide future decisions. It was this way for me. Now its a momentary distraction. I take note of the reaction you pulled from me and then I understand that I must limit your access to my heart and feelings because you do not know how to respect it. I also send you away with every wish for light and love in your world...each and every time I see you.
Once I realized that I am the one who is responsible for those who get my permission to take up my moments, I accept the responsiblity and the blame. I do not allow missteps without noting that I think someone is off base. I changed me and my reactions and now those who show up in my life are people who feel and behave in a way that is an example of the me I long to be. They are generous to a fault. When they take on a task and a responsibility, you have not need to worry about the outcome...it shall be done.
These amazing people who are now a part of my reality hold me up on the days that I find it hard to walk. They cheer me on when I am headed towards a new goal. They send me text messages to remind me to take care of me. They invite me to be a part of the life celebrations big and small. And when I am in need they arrive with gifts that not only meet those needs, they give with no expectaions beyond the joy to give.
I keep saying it and I keep on meaning it. I love my life and I am so grateful that I have learned to SEE the real in people...the real good ones and the ones who are still struggling. I love SEEing things as they keep getting better and appreciating each real person who helps me be better and do better...I love SEEing you!
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