S-T-R-E-T-C-H

Growing is always a stretching of what we know, who we think we are and what we see in the world...
S T R E T C H I N G feels good--that is all.

It would seem the lessons in life create a theme or series of circumstances that lead to growth. In appreciation for this latest round of difficulties, I have been gifted a month of the most amazing new opportunities, answers to some mysteries and healing both physically and emotionally. I also got one lesson so well that I smiled at my anger.

I also have several new relationships with amazing new friends, some I have been missing have popped in to spend a little catch up time, and a others who always seem to be present making their presence known in a bigger way. I don't feel pressure to perform or even fear of failing. I speak only of truth, even in the face of anger and attack, I still speak my truth.

I have lost the fear of the past, or actually most of all fears have left me. I no longer worry if you will like me, but celebrate in the moments when you say you do! I have lost the need to make new friends to replace any lost, but new ones come to me easily and without more effort than reaching out. I have left behind the things that used to keep me twisted up. The feeling that I am not good enough, cannot do enough, cannot get enough to feel that I am enough. I am enough. I am precious and wonderfully created. I experience the joy of almost each moment and even when I am stretched beyond my joy, I find joy in the stretching.

I seek only to share with others this path to peace. I don't feel the need to force someone to find it, or even worry that they have not. I have nothing more than a twinge of sadness when I recognize the sadness in others, then I move on to say a message of prayer for them to find what they seek and accept even if what they seek is the drama I have left behind.

I listen to those who have more of what I want, and hear most those who know what I wish to see in my reality. I love any and all who cross my path, even when they are caught up in a action that reeks of no self love. Their dislike for themselves surely feels as a call for me to fix or change, but only for a moment and then I remember it is not my damage to repair. I also realize that living a life that is love centered and peace directed, I serve as an example of where life can be a joy. It is up to each person to find the path most pleasing and only if they choose.

I still from time to time will issue a prayer to make someone softer and gentler when interacting with me and if they choose over and over again to be abrasive, I pray for them to be removed from my reality. It still is a bit of a mystery to me how removing the anger from my reaction and sending and feeling only love for those who are in obvious pain and sharing hurt, removes their opportunity to hurt or attack my life.

In the most utter appreciation for the spiritual learning of the last few days, I share in hopes that someone else may find this as an opportunity to seek peace.

I also shared recently a remembering of the path to peace from an extreme drama centered life. I thought at moments traveling the path towards peace that I would lose my mind. Because the habit of accepting, creating and living through drama felt so alive, although painful and tear filled...to me this path felt alive. So traveling to peace often gifted me days where the feeling of quiet and calm felt alone, sad or even forgotten. I had to learn to focus on a different way of living, and path that is about loving self and others, a practice of forgiving all perceived harms instead of replaying them for dramatic effect.

I have come to understand that much of my previous life was fear based. I was afraid people would not like me if I didn't do things for them. I had given up my choices and allowed someone to control and punish me. I was lost in fear. The lessons showed up for me to face down my fears...some really hard lessons. Losing a home, losing friends, losing a marriage, losing a job were all moments that I had to come from focusing on the fear that then brought to be. I grew to understand they fears were brought to my reality because I kept focusing on them. I was going through them with the fear being so real, but then coming to understand that even in these most feared events, I also got gifts and love and understanding from all those who were loving me in spite of myself. Even more than just surviving, I went through finding joy and appreciation for each of the pain filled paths.

I have learned that if I want to be well, that I must focus on being well. I have come to see that if I want to feel love, that I must focus on what love means to me. I now see that if peace is important I spotlight all that shows up and helps to create peace in my life. I focus on what I see as right and try not to ever see anything as wrong. It simply is what it is for right now. I try to find things I like about me instead of seeking things to hate or change.

Over the last week I also had moments and memories that reminded me why living a fear based life leaves us to find more to fear. Its a self fulfilling prophesy. The more we speak what is true the more of that truth we will see. It is a bit of a trick to look at each thing and not get hung up on the "WHAT IS"....even one friend recently said "BUT its the truth and I do not want to lie" I told her you do not have to lie, you just have to start focusing on the part of the truth you want to see. If you were made less sad, then that is closer to happy than to repeat that you were ever sad--see the change? The emotion is the same, but the way you choose to acknowledge it opens the pathway to more positive energy, which will bring more positive energy reality moments.

I have seen relationships healed and severed, and I have found something to be grateful for in each. I have witnessed it often in my life and I am convinced I am responsible for all that I see...simply by choosing how to see it. The energy surrounding the emotions are the creative force for the next thing, experience and or lesson.