As I share day by day the many things I realize I am grateful for, I have been smiling because it has been so many days of great things. Special gifts from friends, anonymous letters of appreciation, special time and moments with my kids and as always those precious moments with my grand-babies.
Day after day I realize how blessed I am in this life. How many people share words of kindness, and countless invites to be involved in so much fun as well as opportunities to serve the clients of COI and serve my community. It is pretty amazing life I live. But over the last couple of weeks, I have found myself struggling some days to be grateful. It is never easy to understand death, and even harder when the person who has left our lives has meant so much to our story. Well to be honest it seems like most of the time everyone means something to my story. I have so many great people all around my life. Some I know well, some I am still getting to know and some no matter how often I see them, they are a blessing to my day. It is in the knowing that they are there that is the comfort during a rough patch.
There are no easy ways to say goodbye and it seems like the older I get the harder it gets to be. Today was a funeral for a dear person. She was way too young, but I was reminded how she lived her life. The pastor eulogizing her life said the most amazing thing, he said that she had already written her eulogy, on all of our lives. She had reached out in service always, never had a bad word to say about anybody and gave with all her heart and smiles. I can still remember being in her home at Christmas and how her house was like a Christmas cottage. I asked her how long it took to decorate every corner of her home, she simply said awhile, but that she loved doing it and sharing moments in her house with her friends. I didn't know until later that she had been a Christmas baby, but when I learned it, I just smiled.
She not only was born on Christmas, she was the human embodiment of the Christmas spirit. Her joy came in finding ways to give and give she did.
As I listened to others who knew her also, I realized we all had the same story. We knew the real Sandy, the person who got joy from giving it away. It's sad as I sit here and try to remember if I told her how much she meant to me. How the conversations that we had had about rough patches in our life had helped me to let go of being angry and see change as something that was all a part of life? Had I told her that I loved her, and that I wished one day to be more like her? Was there an opportunity to tell her that I loved her that might have slipped by? I hope not, I hope as she has made her transition that she knows a community is grieving the loss of her presence and celebrating the gift of her life. She gave us many years, smiles and moments of fun. She gave us all a part of her, and that is something no one that ever got to know her will ever forget, I know I won't. I still want her to be here, but I am learning to let her go.
I also know so many others who are grieving as well. So much loss that it is hard to grasp it and maintain a smile. A young mother I didn't know tragically gone without any warning. An old high school friend/neighbor again without any forewarning. So many friends who have lost someone close to them over the last few months...I can barely understand the losses. A niece, a mom, a sister, or a friend still brings to mind those things I should be grateful for, but it's so hard.
It's the month of Thanksgiving, and being grateful for all things is not always the easiest thing to do. But I am reminded as I type this that being grateful for those who have left is a tribute to their memory. I understand that we don't know how long we have to be a part of this story, but as we fill in the pages of our history, by loving others, forgiving some and appreciating all who have come to be a part of it, we do everyone an honor, and learn that even being grateful because we miss someone who has left is still a great example of thanksgiving.
As my favorite author Dr. Suess said 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.' And today I smile because someone like Sandy happened to my life.
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