Gimmee' Life

Today I am five years old. Well, in Gimmee' years I am five. I can still remember the night that my #3 visited to share the most amazing news. And from that moment some of the focus of my life took on a new direction. I was told I was going to be a grandmother.

I have never been nominated for mom of the year, in any of my years as a mom. I took on my role as mom as serious as any mom could. But I think my kids would have enjoyed kid-hood a little better if I hadn't struggled so hard to get it all right. I am not really saying I was a horrible mom, but I definitely was not the favorite parent. I don't get to share great stories with them, or even not ever feel like I could have done so much better. I have however forgiven myself for not knowing how to do it better. I have some great memories and mom moments when I am sure I shined bright in my accomplishment, but the moments were fleeting. I can even remember one moment when my quick decisions and forceful nature most surely saved one of my kids life...but still no one really gives a mom the hero of the year award when she just does her job.

If you say I just did my job, well that would be enough. They are good people, two are great moms, and the others work on the uncle/aunt thing pretty amazingly. I got them to the brinks of adulthood, safe and with only one broken bone, a few stitches and minor glitches along the way amongst the five of them. I took more of a hands off approach in their later years, because I felt like it was the thing to do. There have been moments when I had to pat myself on the back when I saw their greatness and it made me think of a lesson, moment or even glimpse of the mom that I was for them.

But this Gimmee' gig is a pretty cool bi-product of stretch marks, morning sickness and all too serious mom syndrome. These two little girls came to my world when I needed them most. Their unconditional love and spectacular way of loving me, just for being me have made all the bad stuff of a sideways marriage and divorce seem almost worth it. The fun we have is timeless. They never seem to outgrow the fun we can whip up while cooking, coloring or just watching movies. They have given my napping chair a new life and have created art out of the most simple activities.

It was only a short time before news of number two being on the way and I realized my life would not only change, but it would be doubly bettered by these little humans coming to grace our lives.

I carefully selected an original grandmother name. Talked way too often about sonograms and pink stuff and how I would not even care now if my hair went to its all too natural gray. I am sure I wore every one I know out with all the baby talk and other stuff I kept on my facebook wall.

It really hasn't slowed down. I am still head over heels in love with Gimmee's girls. They are a bright spot in a very difficult life. I take every opportunity to spend time with them, even if have to steal the moments. I take mental snapshots of our days together, have even worked some regular appointments so they do not grow an inch without me being able to notice it.

I am in love with my 5 year Gimmee' life...

Happy 5th Birthday Payton --- you are a joy in my life!

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