This might be a little off my normal topic...but worthy of the writing just the same...here kitty, kitty, kitty!!

Recently I have been made aware of many groups of animal lovers who are screaming for local shelters including ours to to become a no-kill agency. And while I absolutely love the idea of no person ever having to be the one who issues a euthanasia order or carries one out, there is one major point that many of the animal lovers are forgetting...or even maybe a few.

So please hear this...we as a country do not have an ANIMAL CONTROL PROBLEM. Most communities of any size have some type of shelter or program that deals with strays and unwanted animals. But they are not anything more than a control center. Cities are challenged to meet the needs and safety measures for their human residents...and by challenged I mean, they are fighting the downturn of the economy just like the rest of us. So they are asking their employees of each department to do more, with less. They are struggling to maintain a quality of life for the well being of all those who live within their borders.

The problem that our cities have is a human control problem. We all have neighbors who are irresponsible pet owners. They allow their pets to breed but have no intention of homing and caring for the many puppies or kittens their pet creates each year. They simply try to sell them or give them away, without using any type of consideration on where or with whom their pets offspring will reside. They feel that pets have the right to breed as given them by their creator. But please when you use this as an excuse to not spay or neuter your pets you are forgetting one major point about the reproductive life of a cat or dog. Before domestication when animals fought to survive in the wild the chances of a full litter getting to adulthood was much slimmer than the present day critters who live in your shelter, are protected from disease and predators and in general live as well as their owners.

Also if you were to spend a day in any shelter in our country, you would be shocked at the number of well groomed, sometimes full blood and loved animals who are RELEASED by their owners due to a life change. When the push comes to shove of life, hard choices must be made and lets face it a pet is a luxury. They also feel as if they give it to the shelter hopefully someone will come along and give it a home.

I challenge you to just spend one day walking in the shoes of an animal control officer. It's not really a fun or glamorous job. They have to deal with irate irresponsible pet owners who don't understand why it's a problem that their pit bull was out of it's yard yet again...chasing everyone's mail man or the kid riding his bike to school. They have to make the calls on those owners who never seem to remember that a dog needs water, food and shelter at all times, not just when it is convenient.

They have to go and peel the remains of animals off the highways and city streets so that we don't have to see or smell them as we take our afternoon stroll with our cute little puppy on his leash.

I believe we do not have an animal control problem. We have narrow minded pet owners who agree to see the right to have a pet as the only part of responsible pet ownership.

So the next time you get on any soap box on what your city should do, unless you are willing to write the check to make the change, I really encourage you to walk a mile in the shoes of those who have to handle the problem that exists. A problem that has very little to do with the cute puppy or your third litter of kittens this year...it is a human problem.

Do the math...

Pet ownership costs -
pet 0 to $1000
food up to $50 a month
vaccinations $100
Spay or nueter $65
shelter, etc...as much as you choose to spend.

Now you multiply this by the many hundreds of unwanted, abandoned or released animals in a city of 29 thousand people....

If just each person owns one, that is the potential for the city to have to deal with 29 thousand pets....but wait, you have to consider that these pets "have the right to reproduce" and see the next math problem.

How many cats will you have in 9 years...the average life of a sweet little pet kitty?



I know each of the animal control employees in our city. They are good and committed employees. They are governed by the laws and ordinances of YOUR city. They are required to follow the rules that you as citizens have either played a part in creating or ignored because you didn't think it pertained to you. They have compassion, work hard to place as many of the animals as they can. I have even seen some of them tear up because their choices were limited by the resources your tax dollars barely provide. I have volunteered, fostered and participated in events trying to make the situation better...but I haven't seen any of those screaming for a no kill shelter ever when I have been there.

I feel that instead of attacking those who have been doing the job for years, throwing insults at honest and caring humans, or even choosing to feel only for the animals in this situation you should try to be part of the solution. By that I mean work for it. Write the check that covers each animal in need. Build a bigger shelter so that when all the cages are full, we can just add more...oh and do you know how much a state qualified pen costs?

I love my pet, cry when one passes away, wish I could have and be able to care of many more...but I am being responsible and taking care of the ONE that I have, who is nuetered...and always in the yard or on a leash when outside.

Someone told me the other day, that "a certain someone" that we both know doesn't like me very much. I had to giggle, first because they felt the need to tell me...second, because I am not even a little bit sad about someone not liking me. Let's face it, I'm not really very normal, have a pretty loud and obnoxious laugh, and don't really give a rip when someone doesn't like me.

My self confidence is huge...and my self forgiveness is always available for me to say sorry. I choose not to offend, nor to be offended...by others issues, mistakes, words or drama.

Everyday I am grateful for the life lessons that have lead me to here. Each moment I am free from the things that used to twist me up on the inside I am aware of my gifts. I accept the disregard of those who cannot see or who cannot hear what I share because they are not at a space/time to be aware. I don't share to change, fix or even help. I write for me...the lessons are important and if it helps someone else, raises their vibration, assists with the letting go of one more thing holding them back...then that's just a glorious bonus.

My intention is to live this life, appreciate all that I am given and love those who grace my path. My focus is to be what I most want to see in my life...peace, love, gratitude, joy and fun...lots and lots of fun.

I turn away from sadness at my losses, because I have some to understand that some may never be on this path, does not make mine better or theirs worse....each person gets to their destination on their own terms. I understand that in letting go that which is destined to leave, only opens space for what is next. All stories must end, all chapters lead to another, and each is worth reading.

I wish only that each finds that which they seek, feels all that they are promised and sees what life was meant to be for each child of the universe...it looks pretty cool from these seats.

EDGERANK yourself to happy...joyful...life-full!!

Isn't it funny how something incredibly hard to deal with and understand can give us such a great perspective if we open our minds to the lessons of life?

This week I made a few shifts in the way I handle things and myself. The result is that I am quicker to make a decision to step away from something that is not working to bring me smiles, but at the same time I find a way to smile at that thing. I have lived through hard tragedies and things that I thought would surely defeat my spirit and will to live....but not so.

I am encouraged daily by those working to better the lives of those who have been hit hard by nature, all the while watching others fret over a broken finger nail, bad hair day or a lost something or other. I then had someone post a video that was of Brene Browns interview with Oprah and how we sometimes will super-cede our joy by waiting and looking for the other shoe to drop. STOP IT!!! But it might help if you watch this



I believe that our moments of joy are the substance of life and if we want more joy we need to be most grateful and fully engaged with all our joy. But it's not enough to just be happy when the joy arrives, it is most important that we find our joy in everything. Even if our gratitude is for the hard stuff to better appreciate the good stuff, we will see more of what we say we want when we appreciate all that we see.

Its a little bit of a trick, but we are the directors of this life. We attract more of what we say we want, much of what we believe we deserve and all that we give our attention to. Your magnifying glass(mindful attention) will magnify what you focus on.

Think of it like this...when you watch a movie, do you watch the movies you like? Ok...so from here on when you see a portion of your life movie that you like, play it over again and again. Feel the emotion that the life experience you loved, enjoyed or accept as your true life....and then get ready, because that will become your focused view.

We all get the bump, twists or twisters that are part of life...but it is up to us what we focus on. Do we see only the destruction? Or all the wonderful acts of kindness that came after.? Do we see all the pain? Or the comfort given those who were hurting?

Truth is we have to see it all, but we get to choose what we find the grace in, where we find the moments we are grateful for and which video memories will play over and over again.

We are edgeranking our lives...we see more and more of what we choose to replay, focus on and appreciate. That Mark Z managed to figure out the life magic and apply it to our communication tool of our century....yep thats pretty smart. You get to see more of what you like and comment and appreciate!! Pretty cool huh?

The word crap...

DISCLAIMER...if you are oversensitive when it comes to some words most of us do not use, cannot tolerate my grammar, have no sense of humor when it comes to mis=spelling AND how that can add humor...please, please PULLL=LEEEZEE do not read this blog. However if you choose to read on and see my views and story following this fair warning NOTICE you must leave a comment...oh and there just might be a prize involved for the best, most humorous funny left for me to read!!\\\\




Over the last several years I have been on a personal journey to be the best me. And while some would argue I have miles yet to go, I am here to tell you when I look back, it looks like a billion stars away from where I started. Arguments have been started over the facts, yes I was a drama queen, absolutely I was self centered and somewhat of a story teller, apologetically I was beyond understanding that any of this was of my own doing.

Enter the most giving and forgiving and patient human I have ever known. He came to me when I had learned secrets about a person who had consumed so much of my reality that I barely even recognized me when I looked in a mirror. The secrets were not only hurtful, they were life changing. Although I fought the change for many more years, until I finally realized what I was doing was creating an exit strategy from the reality I had created for myself.

For the most part my memories of my saving grace shaped human are all pleasant, but there are a few moments where he hit me so hard with the truth, I could have sworn there would be a bruise. But in all fairness he was hundreds of miles away when he said them. He smacked me until I woke up and could begin to see a possibility of a life better lived and a truth better served.

In all fairness there were conversations with the object of my history to try and salvage and rebuild. There were forgiveness chats, opportunities to grow together and chances to leave the drama behind. There were even moments when I felt like he would, but then there would be another ugly secret pop out of seemingly nowhere and again I would be working at building the next exit ramp.

I hold no anger for the other half of the story. I sometimes wish things would have ended better, or at least gentler, but I am the better for all of it, so no harm...well minor harm and very little of the scars even show these days.

The reason I even share this bit of my story is it all goes back to the fact that my words, thoughts and beliefs in my former life were policed. I was not always told what to think, who to like or what to pretend like I didn't see, but I had allowed much of that to keep the peace. It's a pretty weird moment when you come to realize that you have given up your hopes, dreams and ability to make decisions because you cared more about the others happiness and keeping the waves to a minimum. The journey out of that storm was quite a ride...but I am here to tell you I made it.

This fact of my history also leads to a short trigger of the me of today. It is the crazy habit of how others work at policing the freedom of speech, their version of appropriate and more. The bulk of this inspiration for today's many words came from facebook. I posted the above photo and in the 25 words you will see one that brought on a comment about it being inappropriate. Really? What is so bad about having the word crap on my facebook wall? It is mine after all. And I encourage everyone to carefully edit their life so that they can feel the freedom to share what they wish. I myself have hidden much of the drama and I do not miss it at all...nor will I EVER. But I am still a bit sensitive over the recent comment "Hey you used the word crap".

Just in case you have any question, I also know all about the many other curse words that are prevalent in today's verbal history. And while I have a pretty good grasp of the English language, and know the correct context for crap, shit and many other of those only sometime appropriate used words in public, I do not ever feel like I should ever give up my freedom to use them. Does it offend my sensibilities when someone uses the word FUCK sixty one times in one retelling? Well yes, but that has more to do with my ingrained English lessons, when my wonderful teacher said repetitive use of the same word in a paragraph or even essay was inappropriate and would lead to a deduction on my grade. So I worked hard at learning many words that mean the same or similar things. I also have gotten pretty good at word blending. Using one or more words to create the just right fit to what I am trying to say.

Basically if you don't like what or how someone says something...don't listen. Step away and find another path. But above all choose to NOT be OFFENDED. I believe that the freedom of speech is not only a right, is a blessing to be coveted, honored and used often and is part of what others in our world would die for. It is in sharing the ideas and colorful words that many a message was passed on from one person to a group. It is within my right to hear everything you say as well as your choice to say it.

I have a pretty good grasp on English, even though some of good grammars finer points sometimes elude me, I can get up and share information and have yet to have tomatoes thrown at me or booed off a stage.

Anytime you choose to let someones choices offend you, you are painting yourself into a corner. You are saying that unless the world behaves in a way which suits me, I am not able to happy, comfortable or content. You are deciding to place your peace in the hands of those who have no business holding it for you, nor who could really give a rip if you have it. Basically pick your battles...do you really want to spend your limited minutes in this life telling others how talk and what to say?

Any of the words that might be mentioned in a heated argument, violent altercation or even just because someone is in the habit of getting attention by shocking the word police in their airspace. As a mom of 5 kids I asked a few teenagers to please watch their language and was yelled at more than once with "get over it...its a damn fucking word".



Even Webster shares the definition of some of these words with little fanfare or drama.

Definition of CRAP
1
a usually vulgar : feces
b usually vulgar : the act of defecating
2
sometimes vulgar : nonsense, rubbish; also : stuff 4b
Origin of CRAP
British dialect crap, craps residue from rendered fat, from Middle English crappe, perhaps from Old French crappe chaff, residue, from Medieval Latin crappa

FUCK
1
usually obscene : copulate
2
usually vulgar : mess 3 —used with with
transitive verb
1
usually obscene : to engage in coitus with —sometimes used interjectionally with an object (as a personal or reflexive pronoun) to express anger, contempt, or disgust
2
usually vulgar : to deal with unfairly or harshly : cheat, screw
See fuck defined for English-language learners »

I started trying to remember why I was offended. I began to take the disgust and anger apart and all I could come up with is that my mom had given me a list of the "bad words". I was told that if I said them in school I would have to go visit the principal. I was told that many words were unacceptable. But if that is so why do we have them in our language? What words would we use in their place? Because every word describes a something. Each part of our language is there to help us describe some action, thing or person. Names are just as important, and rarely ever thought of as bad, but if we are going to keep with the practice of policing, I just want to go on the record to say all men who are called DICK should just go change their name.

I often hear folks talk about the things that drive them crazy, like misused grammar, words that mean something else and clearly used incorrectly and on and on it goes. And while it does get a bit aggravating, I am not sure we will ever fix all those who are guilty of the transgressions. I have actually gotten to the point where sometimes I use the wrong word and don't go back and fix it because it adds to the humor. But then I find most everything entertaining or enlightening, these days. I have even started trying to do away with the words good and bad. I think that in my desire to describe everything as being a good or bad, it has closed me off to the better that can come from any thing that was part of my reality.


I personally do not like racial humor, am kinda sensitive when it comes to fat references in comedy, and think blond jokes although usually based on truth are inappropriate because the subjects rarely get the punch line. But you won't find me correcting those who find the humor in any of it, because no matter how hurtful or wrong I think it is, that is where that person is emotionally. They are projecting to the world not only what they think of others, they are telling you what they think of themselves. They are saying that they believe they are smarter and should get to decide who is a better human or a which words we can and cannot use. They believe that for some reason most of us will never know they have been blessed with the vision that is even higher than the giver of life. They feel as if they hate something because they fear it, then it must be ok to dis the creator and all that he sees as beautiful...ie everyone.

Now to do a little backtracking to what started this blog to begin with...the word crap...used to describe a way some people have chosen to treat others. There are several different ways to work my way around this conversation, but basically it is this...the way some people have decided to treat those they profess to care about and/or love is CRAP. Plain and simple. I also want to go on the record to say that even those who are being treated badly have some responsibility in it. They have chosen to stay where it is seen as acceptable to be treated in such a way. I know that is pretty harsh but I speak from experience. I felt like I was less than crap...and I allowed people easy access to my heart and happiness because I had been told that if you love someone you love them for all that they are. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU STAND FOR MISTREATMENT. Loving someone and being their emotional punching bag are entirely two different things. If someone is hurting you...repeatedly making the same hurtful choices, violating the best rules of a relationship, taking from you and never being present when you are in need, then it is time to step away until they can agree to live within the boundaries of good behavior, or NOT!

I also want to add that when someone is using threatening words, actions or other form of coercion towards another human that is illegal. But the use of corrective words and the anger we sometimes find at the hearing of that expressive language is a waste of time. It is simply better to retrain our brain to not take offense.

All that being said, you will rarely find cursing on my facebook page, hardly in my blogs or even very seldom in my everyday speech. I use self control and a colorful vocabulary because I care that I might offend someone. I understand completely the squirmy feeling it might give those who cannot tolerate their programming and just hear the word. It is never my intent to upset or hurt others, but sometimes there is no other word that describes the subject but crap.

Not afraid to remember...

It can be very hard to look back, especially when emotions take over and I have those moments where I miss someone or something from the past. But each and everyday where I decide to look back and understand or at least seek the lessons, I lose a little more of the fear of what might have been and find appreciation for what is.

I think for many years of my life I was caught up in the otta bees. I otta bee happier, I otta have this figured out by now, or the why do I gotta bee going through this again. Now here in this sentence is where the grammar police will choose to be offended and some might even stop reading. But I don't write for them, only for me. The slang and misspelled words are how I would say it if I were just talking to a friend across the table. For me it doesn't have to be about the grammar, the spelling or even whether it will make someone stop reading. For me it is about fleshing out those memories until there is nothing left but the bones of the story.

A place where I can feel the good parts and let the bad stuff go forever. If there ever was such a thing like forever. I was a former subscriber to the happily forever myth. I often felt like I was the only one working on that story at all. And the more I slipped into the fear of it not happening the more miserable my emotions would become and hold me hostage.

I had to come to the point of understanding the difference between love and attachment. The minute we tie our happiness to any one condition, person or outcome, we begin to slide towards and ultimate disappointment. It happened for me over and over again.

I have spent many a tirade, retelling and rehashing of said stories to try and find my sanity and justification. To no avail...because my story is not found it what was, it lies deeply in what is.

While sharing some things about me with a new friend today, I saw another piece of my healing as clear as if it had been written for me. I am not sure that I will ever be forever done with it, but I love it when it circles a little closer.

I made so many decisions in my young life based on avoiding what is, and looking for what might be. I made choices that were not only unhealthy they were based on an intent that was more about fixing my history and finding a fairy tale that being an equal partner.

It's hard to say...even harder to breathe it and not feel tears sting my face...but it is true. I was looking for a hero, a rescuer or a distraction. I was too young and too damaged to know that neither would bring me anything like permanent happiness or security. I stepped up to a new level of forgiveness today. A level at which there only sits one person. A place so high in understanding that when I look towards anything reflective I see me. A me of 30 years ago, bright eyed and full of hope for a person could come into my hell and love me enough to fix all the wrongs of my childhood. An escape hatch of a relationship that would let me slide right into adulthood without every paying the price of growing up.

Now if you are not a reader with any history behind you in blog~erapy, you are probably pretty lost right now, but just take it from me...today was HUGE in a life moment perspective.

Recently a friend sent me a message and said, "when I saw you today, you looked a little out of it". So wonderful how those true people in my life can see behind the smiles. I am not fooling them for a second, and it is only out of habit that my actions even head down that path. I am a recovering people pleaser, a peace keeper to avoid the drama of my past. I really do not have to do this anymore as many of those in my life have grown accustomed to my ultimate passion for being real. But occasionally out of habit I try to smile when I would rather cry. I hide behind what ever is keeping me busy so I don't have to sit down and write this. It's not really a wide open aloud kind of avoidance, its more like yeah I know, time to grow another level. But most of the time that means I have to let go of a little more blame, and send a little more forgiveness to me and anyone else on the blame train.

There have been many recent events that have helped in this ascension to a new level. The horrific acts of terror on those just out for a run in Boston. A fertilizer storage facility that was way to close for comfort, for those in the little town of West and now me every time I drive through there. It's hard to not get caught up in the looking over our shoulders. The moments where we are not sure who the person standing next to us in a crowd is or what they are capable of. Those moments of horror fill us with disbelief first, terror next, and slowly gratitude for the understanding of except for the grace of God, there go I.

I have had moments that scared the shit out of me in my life. The near drowning of my daughter, accidents that if had been a split second either way of the precise landing they were in could have been more tragic for myself and others. I have witnessed as the horrific diseases that consume our human bodies has slowly taken the life out of people that I love. All of these moments could have been something I might would have chosen to avoid.

The realization today is that as we make even the simplest of decisions, we need not stand and watch as life goes on, but we must grab awareness of each breath and know that we chose to stand and cheer on the runners, run to the heat of the flames or towards whatever destiny we selected for that moment. It matters not that we perish and stop our life experience rather it matters more that we showed up for as long as we were allowed to be here.

All of my mistakes are now renamed wisdom choices. For had I been wiser I might have chosen another path, but the wisdom I gained helps to justify the pain. I also know that when we let go of the fear of what might go wrong and breath in each second in its entirety for what it holds, we truly are living and adding to the human divine fabric of this life. I also have come to understand that when the exits come, I must have done all I can to be a part of this life. But on the other hand hold no attachment to it. When we become fearful of losing anything we take away from the moments we have to celebrate all that is. When we fear being left behind by anothers choices to move forward without us we tie ourselves to an anger that steals more than any eventual death could.

I do not share any of this to diminish the art of grieving. It is as natural emotion to miss a part of us that is no longer there as it was to love it in the first place. The skill and beauty of humanity comes when we can feel those emotions and then let them wash over us as they cleanse the moments of pain away. I do not discount for a second the sadness that can still wash over me when I miss my grandmother, my cousin or the many friends that I would wish were still here so that I could enjoy their stories, laughter and gifts to my life. But as they have transitioned past the reality that we shared, they are not longing to come back. They have accepted the temporary fact of their now completed life and they are in the next realm of consciousness and human experience. Its a hard lesson to get. For many of our emotional teachers would have us hang onto our fears and past as if we could ever find a real life there. The only real life is in this second. As no sooner have I typed the next word and it is over too.

No anger is justified if carried over joy. No pain is worth never feeling ok to be happy again. No lesson is worth tying our human experience to the misery that we feel obligated to hold onto.

It was a big day. I am 50 after all...and most would say I am a little behind the learning curve. But today feels like a graduation of sorts. I moved closer to being ok with all that has caused hurts in my past, excited to have a few moments to remember the joys and ecstatic of all that is yet to be mine to breath through.

Thanks to those who came to talk me through my lessons. Thanks to those who care enough to read and acknowledge my lessons. Thanks to Destiny, your name was so appropriate for today...and I am grateful for the love languages...it was a great day.